‘Red Riding Hood’ destroys classic fairytale

Leonardo DiCaprio, I am disappointed in you. I sit down in a theater for a movie I'm on the fence about; within the first few seconds, your name pops up. You helped produce this? It must be good! You, Leonardo, create golden works. What a misleading credit ...

“Red Riding Hood” is based off the (shock!) traditional fairy tale of a little girl who visits her grandmother in the woods only to be harassed and temporarily devoured by a cunning wolf. However, when I say “based,” I mean that Amanda Seyfried wears a red cloak, there is a grandma and a wolf does have some hunger issues. The plot of “Red Riding Hood” takes the folklore, gives it a million subplots and turns the wolf into a werewolf.

While all the potential routes of this story were riveting, the interesting facets fell short. The dialogue was used to blatantly address characteristics of the actors rather than letting the actors, well, act. In general, the script was awkward, terribly corny, and switched between period dialect and modern slang. To ice the failure-to-immerse-the-audience-into-the-setting cake, I was taken by the amount of hair gel and heavy makeup villagers had access to in medieval society.

As I waited for “Red Riding Hood” to follow the plot it’s based on, the emerging story of a confused girl who falls in love with a pale, misunderstood rebel and talks to a werewolf seemed a little too familiar. Sorry, Catherine Hardwicke, you can't just do another “Twilight.” I'm pretty sure the director of that series would feel threatened. Pardon? You directed “Twilight” as well? This explains a lot, especially the fact the CGI is tackily below par.

To put it plainly: “Red Riding Hood” does nothing for these young adults' acting careers and confuses its audience with random love triangles, potential incest and a creepy religious figure who carries a decomposing hand with him. It is certain to give you an ending that forces you to scream “Uck!” as the credits roll.

Reach the reporter at lkjorda1@asu.edu


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