About a month ago my friend came over to tell me that she and her boyfriend of more than three years had broken up. She was upset, but told me that it was for the best and they were headed in very different directions.
She always had a good time, but knew her responsibilities and when it was time to be serious. He was carefree and pretty much just went with the flow of things.
Freshman year this attitude is what attracted her to him, but realistically she knew that they were too different to last forever.
We have all heard the phrase “opposites attract.” However, in reality opposites really don’t work well together.
Sure, you can have a relationship with someone who is different than you, but it may not last forever. You may eventually get tired of the same personality traits you once enjoyed so much.
Have you ever tried to have a serious conversation with someone who is always trying to joke around? How must it be for someone who is career oriented dating someone who isn’t in college?
According to a study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, opposites are less likely to have long-term marital happiness, even though those opposite qualities are what brought the couple together in the first place.
Movies often show characters that are polar opposites developing perfect relationships. I highly doubt that a politician and a hotel maid would ever work together, as in “Maid in Manhattan,” or a prostitute and a wealthy businessman, like “Pretty Woman.”
Those kinds of things don’t really happen, and major differences in morals and beliefs can ruin a relationship.
Another friend of mine recently went through a breakup because of different religious views. Converting for someone is possible, but not when you are faithful to your own religion.
As much as you can put off these differences, whether it’s religious, political or something else, the problems don’t just go away.
A study published in Evolutionary Psychology compiled data of subjects from an online dating website. The researchers found that about 85 percent of respondents wanted someone with opposite personalities. But when it came to down to it, most showed preference for someone with similar personality traits.
As a senior in my last weeks of college, I have seen more breakups this semester than ever before. It seems that this is a time in our lives where couples are realizing that it’s either going to work out or it’s not.
It makes sense that more and more people are deciding to split, because we are all about to go our separate ways. It’s healthy to figure out if you are with someone you can see yourself having a future with.
Tell Lindsey about your college relationship at lindsey.kupfer@asu.edu
