(Courtesy of Gearbox software)
Booze, strippers, hijinks, ridiculous one liners, solid 1990’s gameplay, and the King; what else is really needed in the classic “Duke Nukem” franchise?
A respectable revitalization of the series would be great; however, that’s apparently too much to ask for, because the machismo King’s newest adventure, “Duke Nukem Forever,” fails at nearly every opportunity.
Maybe it is nostalgia, but I recall the prior “Duke Nukem” titles actually being enjoyable. DNF however, is undoubtedly a disgrace to its predecessors, and most definitely one of the worse video games I have played this year.
It’s said that Duke never comes early, but with over 14 years in development, creators 2K Games and Gearbox Software have let the King off his throne a bit too soon, as major issues which plague the entire game are readily noticeable right from the start.
As expected, DNF begins with Duke displaying his charismatic lowbrow humor in front of a urinal by relieving himself. After zipping up and turning around, an onslaught of grainy graphics, which befitted the original Xbox console, meet your eyes.
Considering development of game was originally done at the turn of the century, DNF’s graphical quality would have been permissible, if not good for that point in time.
But by today’s standards, it visually appears to be developed by a medium-budget indie studio with outdated technology, not the actual reputable staff behind the game. Although, as DNF progresses the graphics do get better, but it fails to live up to today’s industry standard.
The first boss fight, which premiered on the downloadable demo, takes place a few minutes into the game. After picking dual wieldable Devastator pistols, which have a maximum ammo capacity of 69 rounds, Duke challenges a massive giant robotic Cyclops known as Cycloid.
The fight is easily one of the smoothest in the game, and besides some minor visual screen tears, it’s fairly enjoyable.
After the first mission, shenanigans flourish as you discover during the 12 year lapse between “Duke Nukem 3D” and DNF, Duke has become a mega-star.
Once again, Duke is the man who women want to have, and men want to be.
He’s even got a man-approved high-rise with 69 floors, Duke-themed movie posters, and golden statues of naked women.
After meeting Duke’s two sexually charged “babes” and exploring the tower, DNF’s loose plot line quickly progresses as the alien race Duke destroyed in the prior games is back and looking for revenge.
A surprising amount of political humor is briefly introduced in the beginning and gives a momentary break between modified cult-classic movie sayings, and innuendo.
In a video-conference between Duke and the United States president about the alien visitors, the president states, “we just can’t shoot first and then ask questions later because we think they might have WMD’s.”
Duke is ordered not to engage the aliens because the country is still in debt from his last destructive campaign, but bad news is abound for America, because Duke just ran out of bubble gum.
The bad news doesn’t stop there, for instead of immersing yourself in the anticipated run-and-gun battle against a dangerous force of alien invaders, you get to tackle a grievous amount of poorly designed levels.
Most shooters are linearly developed for easy use and quick gameplay, but not this one.
Although the stages in DNF are linear, indistinguishable air duct covers, or pipes that Duke’s required to go through, don’t stand out enough and it creates perplexing navigation scenarios.
Because of the confusing level design, I was often forced to search for where to go next, instead of progressing and kicking off the heads of babe-abducting aliens.
Then there are level sequences that have no other purpose than tacking on time to an already painful experience.
A prime example is when Duke becomes an action figure sized hero and must drive around a remote control monster truck.
Although it’s unannounced to the player, as there is no heads-up-display or map, the objective is to traverse the casino section of Duke’s high-rise and regain his normal stature by rendezvousing with his two blonde lady friends who have a growth machine.
After preforming the same task of jumping over pits of fire during Duke’s race to adulthood, you finally reach the meeting point and are rewarded with a fight.
Things up to this point in the level design are fine, a little monotonous, but still acceptable. However, once the fight ends, Duke must and then travel back across the exact same area that was just completed. There are not even any side areas of unexpected creatures to fight.
If this occurred once or twice throughout the game, it would be seen as lazy but permissible; however, retracing your steps happens fairly frequently, and it detracts from the overall experience.
Nevertheless, all of these detrimental aspects of the game would have been permissible if combat actually worked well. Alas, the combat experience is frustrating and easily the worst part of this already terrible game.
The entire process of shooting enemies in close quarters combat is incredibly disadvantageous, and deadly, due to a series of glitches, lag filled game-play, and because the targeting system simply doesn’t work.
DNF’s atrocious targeting system made the frequent appearance of melee-heavy deformed gremlin-like aliens incredibly difficult to dispatch with at close quarters.
Trying to aim at any creature within a five-yard radius is going to get you killed.
The crosshairs often didn’t register on targets closer than five yards so when the trigger is pulled the rounds automatically miss.
Turning aim assist off and lowering the sensitivity seemed to help a bit, but not enough to make using any weapons efficient.
But Gearbox and 2K failing to overcome their horrendous combat system deserved punishment, because after every death you’re looking at up to a two minute load screen.
Along with the deaths faced by faulty combat, creatures will on occasion freeze in midair, and because everything must be dead before you’re able to continue, you get stuck restarting the checkpoint in order to continue.
Because of the unfortunate immunity aliens have at close quarters, and the glitches that prevent Duke from pushing forward, be prepared to be looking at that two minute load screen quite frequently.
However, there is a very small saving grace when it comes to fighting – the boss fights.
Boss encounters are pretty neat and play smoothly for the most part.
The targeting issues seemed to be mostly absent against gargantuan opponents, which was a very nice change of pace.
The only down side is all the bosses were pretty simple: Shoot until Duke is out of ammo, get more, and then continue shooting.
Nostalgia is this game’s only saving grace.
As with the classic “Duke Nukem” titles, modified one-liners from action movies of the 1980s and 1990s, and a plethora of innuendo, is readily available at Duke’s disposal.
Another throwback to the past is interacting with manly environmental objects such as punching bags, weights, and sports equipment increase Duke’s ego (health).
However, no amount of nostalgia is able to fix the remarkably persistent targeting problems, frame-rate glitches, terribly designed levels, load screen times, and decade old graphics.
Reach the reporter at tdmcknig@asu.edu
