The hysterical and excessive ride “Entourage” is nearing its last stop. The boys from Queens are midway through their eighth and final season and soon, there will be no more red carpets. No more celebrity hookups or Hollywood hijinks. No more taking delight in the verbally abusive rants of Ari Gold. No more indulgent, often brilliant and occasionally disastrous movies helmed by the eccentric Billy Walsh. No more Turtle landing girls way too hot for him. Yet, perhaps the worst of these is no more Johnny Drama.
Straight out of the gate, Johnny “Drama” Chase was both hilarious and absurd. He was the lovable underdog. The desperate actor burdened with C-list success in a star-blinded town. He was unrecognizable in the shadow of his better-looking, more successful younger brother. One had no choice but to root for him. Every genuinely ridiculous statement was delivered with the utmost sincerity. Every stunned reaction, quick smirk and plead for a role in literally anything was comedic gold. His loyalty to friends and family was unmatched. His meltdowns in auditions have been legendary. Highly animated and easily agitated, Drama’s neurotic behavior and outrageous quips have undoubtedly been his most endearing qualities.
Johnny Drama paid his dues. His résumé is chock-full of guest spots and embarrassing gigs. He has peddled long distance plans dressed as a Power Ranger, lent his face to Valtrex, a herpes treatment medication, played Uncle Jessie’s tough guy nephew in “Full House,” appeared in “7th Heaven” as the high school swimmer with Alopecia, among others. However, his most significant role and claim to fame for many years, was his character, Tarvold, from the TV show “Viking Quest.” He relished each moment of attention the show granted him, even if it was coming mostly from Comic-Con geeks and LA County lockups.
When Drama booked a small part in a movie of the week with Brooke Shields, I was just happy to see the guy finally get some work. The fact that he would be acting alongside someone he fancied was merely a bonus. But, of course, it all went wrong. While playing the role of the comforting brother in a syrupy emotional scene, Drama became aroused while locked in an embrace with Brooke Shields, playing his on screen sister. Needless to say, he got the axe.
Later came the Ed Burns produced “Five Towns.” Burns gave Drama the role audition-free. Considering his previous audition debacles, this was an unusual and fortunate turn of events for Drama. “Five Towns” was smooth sailing until he suspected NBC executive, Dan Coakley, of trying to score his best pal’s girl. Physically assaulting a network executive who is in charge of your show is always a bad idea, even in the face of loyalty.
Drama claimed to have quite an extensive list of female companions. He said his ride back in high school – a moped – got him laid on countless occasions. During his time as the Valtrex guy, he got play from the makeup girl who applied his sores. He once ended a relationship just before Valentine’s Day in order to avoid buying the girl a present. These declarations may or may not be true, but we have seen first hand some of Drama’s more ridiculous romantic affairs.
That’s not to say Drama has a particular type. He’s mixed it up with all kinds. He had a short-lived romance with an emasculating gym freak named Tanya. On another occasion, after a wager went awry, he ended up having an intimate – albeit furry – encounter while dressed as a giant pink bunny with a woman wearing a squirrel costume. Among a crowd of hundreds in Cannes, Drama was seen making love to his Tarvold-adoring French beauty on the beach for nearly two hours. Yes, Drama truly was a ladies man.
Despite his nature, Drama had rules when it came to females but was willing to bend them in his favor if the right opportunity presented itself. He refused to pay money for sexual acts, but saw no problem in forking over $1,200 to pay a girl’s past due rent in hopes to get her into his hot tub. Another time, while attending the Sundance Film Festival, he broke another rule – the cardinal rule – after an accidental move created an uncomfortable moment in the midst of a threesome with a woman.
It remains to be seen what the future holds for Drama. His latest, and most cushy, job is doing voice over work for the fictional animated show “Johnny’s Bananas,” but co-star Andrew Dice Clay has threatened even that. I do have faith, however, that everything will work out. Why? Because it’s “Entourage,” and everything always works out.
Reach the reporter at tebrook1@asu.edu
