At a very young age children are exposed to various stereotypes that help enhance and shape their identities. Little girls wear shades of pink and play with dolls while little boys wear shades of blue and play with trucks.
One British couple, however, made it a point to eliminate these stereotypes all together.
In an effort to let their children develop as “unbiased” as they possibly can, Beck Laxton and Kieran Cooper decided to conceal the gender of their children from the public in order to raise a “gender neutral” child.
Cooper and Laxton only recently revealed the gender of their son, Sasha, after keeping it a secret for five years. Only a few close friends and relatives had previous knowledge that Sasha was a boy.
Before revealing this information, they referred to their son, the youngest of three children, as “the infant.” They even chose the name, “Sasha” for its ambiguity.
Laxton’s decision to raise a gender-neutral child stemmed from her own childhood experience. She and her father would cry during “The Wizard of Oz,” while her mother would find their behavior quite silly. Laxton told The Daily Mail, “it’s always seemed obvious to me that stereotypes didn’t fit the people I knew.”
Throughout Sasha’s childhood thus far, he’s played with dolls, slept in a yellow room and worn both girls and boys clothing. His current school uniform consists of both male and female garb. However, when Sasha dressed as a fairy for their 2010 Christmas card, many people believed the couple to be crazy.
Keeping Sasha’s gender a secret at school became extremely difficult, though he has yet to be on the receiving end of ridicule.
While Laxton and Cooper’s efforts to conceal their child’s gender may seem a bit unorthodox, it is understandable why a couple may want to eliminate unavoidable stereotypes that are associated with gender. However, raising a gender-neutral child may not be the way to go.
By concealing Sasha’s gender and forcing him to wear ambiguous clothing, Laxton and Cooper may have inadvertently forced their own stereotypes onto him. They did not allow him to develop naturally, on his own terms.
Dr. Daragh McDermott, a psychology lecturer at Anglia Ruskin University, believes that the children themselves ultimately determine their own identity.
“As a child grows they develop their own independent sense of self that will include their own individual gender identification,” said McDermott to David Wilkes of The Daily Mail.
If Sasha wanted to dress as a girl, he would have been able to make that decision on his own. His parents could have still combatted stereotypes by creating an atmosphere of open communication.
As of now, very few parents make the decision to raise gender-neutral children, but as the decade progresses, maybe more and more parents will begin to lash out against stereotypes. Let’s just hope they think of the consequences first.
Reach the columnist at agales@asu.edu
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