The end of the semester is coming up, and for many of you, that means it’s time to graduate and put all of this time and money to good use.
The big question is: Did you learn anything?
Some have GPAs to prove they are at least good at regurgitating what their professors spewed, and others struggled with simply showing up on time. In the end —provided the bill is paid in full — most will walk the stage and receive the same precious piece of paper proving the same accomplishment.
Being that I am not graduating, arguably at the fault of my own inability to regurgitate as well as others, I do, however, believe that I have parting words of wisdom for those venturing where I have already been: The real world.
To be fair, my past real-world experience is vastly different then what most of you will experience. You now have degrees, while I did not (still don’t). This will bode well for higher paying jobs, catchy titles, corner office — but degrees won’t protect you forever.
You need sound, sage advice from someone who has “been there, done that.” If you’re wondering — yes — I even have a shirt to prove all that I declare.
For starters, those of you attached to skateboards, longboards — even bicycles — learn to walk. The great creator did not make you in “it’s” image only to see you ride around like a child pretending to be “green.” Adults walk. Some wear suits, others slacks, but all walk.
Some of you have also found enjoyment with tattoos and body piercing and modification. Some are tasteful, some are not. Those wondering where they stand should probably look into tattoo removal services or plastic surgery in extreme cases.
If you’re thinking that future co-workers know where the cool beer pong party is, think again. While many of those that you meet and work with from this point on enjoy the occasional frosty beverage at the end of the work day, sharing cups, let alone throwing balls into cups prior to drinking, is lost on them.
Speaking of co-workers, don’t date any of them. Many people meet prospective lovers through the workplace — this is ill advised. Without going into personal specifics, partners really need some time apart. If both of you have the same awful job, neither will want to hear the other vent, and while many of you are inexperienced in the ways of love (or are at least confused on what’s important), in the end, having someone to talk to (and listen to) is everything.
Outside of seeing insurance rates drop by the time you turn 30, there isn’t much else to look forward to in life. Getting married and starting a family will of course be milestones for some, but in the end, the rest of your life will be spent slaving away to the 8-to-5 routine. That sounds dreadful when life is all about enjoying the time you have. If working to pay bills and taxes before dying seems an awful fate to face, remember that there is more time in-between all of those moments worth making the best of.
Reach the writer at jbfortne@asu.edu
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