In response to Sean McCauley’s Sept. 6 column, “Respect missing from sexual relationships.”
I have to say that while I agree with the author’s statement that we should treat all our relationships with purpose and passion, I think he approached the issue from an entirely inappropriate angle.
The author claims that the prevalence of casual sex has devalued sexual intimacy, asking, “Guys: Where has the respect gone? Girls: Where has the modesty gone?”
First of all, if we want to talk about the issue of sex and male respect, we shouldn’t look at the fact that men don’t hold doors. It’s much more appropriate to note that in 2011, 1,300 rapes occurred at ASU, and according to the CDC, 20-25 percent of women in college will be raped. Rape is caused by rapists, period, and 98 percent of rapists are men.
Second of all, it’s horribly problematic to blame the devaluing of sex, even in part, on female immodesty. This kind of slut shaming erroneously places the blame of sexual violence on the victim. The double sexual standard has always fallen heavily on women and attacks on women’s freedom of sexual expression are incredibly common. Just last February, Rush Limbaugh called college co-ed Sandra Fluke a slut because she petitioned for insurance coverage of contraceptives.
The author asks, “(W)hatever happened to the days when women didn’t sleep with men on the first date? Am I too ‘ancient’ or ‘old-fashioned’ when I say that something as intimate as sex shouldn’t be relinquished so quickly?” My response: It’s not “old-fashioned” to say that women should wait to have sex; it’s simply sexist. Having a one-night stand doesn’t automatically mean you don’t respect yourself or your partner. And besides, no one ever tells men to wait for “that special someone.”
Shannon Jenkins
Undergraduate Student
Also read State Press reader Liz Lemon's response to Sean McCauley's column here.
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