Graphic by Noemi Gonzalez, Original Print Design by Julie VitkovskayaHave you ever had to remove a suspicious pair of purple panties from beneath a secluded booth in a restaurant?
I have.
Has a drunken, wrinkly old man ever grabbed your ass as you passed by with a heavy tray of cocktails?
Yeah, that’s happened too.
Has Patrice O’Neal ever racked up an insane tab and then not tipped you after a weekend of catering to him and his posse?
Rest in peace, man, but yeah, I’m calling you out.
Have you ever sung a solo rendition of “Happy Birthday” with disco music as your backdrop all while donning a ridiculous bow tie?
Err, I plead the Fifth.
Your waiter is subject to more than just the mess left behind.Photo by Perla Farias
Unless you’ve ever waited tables in a bar or restaurant, I guarantee with full confidence that you might be one of those jerk customers at your local TGI Friday’s that all the servers talk crap about in the kitchen as they’re about to run your food.
So in honor of those in the service industry subjected to all that sort of douchebaggery on a daily basis, here’s a simple step-by-step on how not to be “that guy” in a restaurant.
To start off: If you make a reservation for a large group, show up on time.
It takes forever to strategize how to comfortably seat that party of 20 for your graduation, grandmother’s 90th birthday, bridal shower or whatever-it-is-you’re-up-to-party. Plus, I mean — I’m 5’3” — pulling chairs almost my height always leaves scrapes and bruises in weird places. More importantly, your party isn’t the only one waiting to dine. If it’s a busy weekend night, you may be taking up the use of several tables that could otherwise be used for the hungry people already waiting to eat. And if you don’t show up at all?
That’s pretty rude.
Be courteous.Photo by Perla Farias
Don’t get me wrong, food is messy. Kids are even messier. And your server or the busser is paid to clean up after you. But there’s a thin line here, too. No one expects you to take your dishes and rinse them in the sink back in the kitchen. But it’s polite, and will probably make someone’s day, if you stack your dishes in such a way that makes it easier for someone to grab them off of the table. That’s above and beyond politeness, and trust me it’s appreciated. At the very least, don’t leave anything disgusting, like the tissue you blew your nose into, or used Band-Aids. And don’t open every sugar packet and pour the sugar onto the table just because you’re bored. All of that is just a slap in the face to your server.
And finally, TIP YOUR SERVER:
Tipping is an essential when dining out.Photo by Perla Farias
Look, times are tough. They’re tough for a lot of people. And they’re probably tough for your server. Just know that in the hospitality industry, minimum wage is much lower than in other fields of work. And I agree with a lot of people’s sentiments, it shouldn’t be the customer’s responsibility to pay the server. It really should be the restaurant’s responsibility to ensure their employees are paid. But as it stands, that isn’t the case. But the upside is that food can be sold at lower costs that way, so it really equals out, honestly. So come on, you’ve heard this one a million times. If you don’t have money to tip your server, then don’t eat out.
Reach the writer at kmmandev@asu.edu or via Twitter @kaharli
