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What the hell happened?

This ongoing government shutdown and looming debt crisis debacle has shown the American people one thing: We are run by a rag-tag gang of moronic gremlins that have a hard time seeing far enough outside their windows to understand that they are not the only ones around.

Even former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin and Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas, decided to take the day off: They protested alongside constituents outside of a war memorial in Washington, D.C. on Oct. 13.

Naturally, these two nincompoops failed to understand the irony in their action, as most of the country pins the government shutdown on their shoulders.

It’s been two weeks since the government shut down. The debt ceiling deadline of Oct. 17 is bearing down on all of us, and the global community is beginning to squirm.

A debt default for the U.S. could mean a lot of things. For one, our credit rating would be worse than a college student who financed his boat to wakeboard Lake Havasu next summer with an American Express he signed up for at the MU. Secondly, the global financial markets are likely to collapse, rendering developing nations crippled beyond belief and causing industrialized, economically stable countries to stare at the U.S. like they committed the worst global party foul since Vietnam.

The whole world is watching the U.S. flounder because of its amateurish congressional composition, and we're all scared. World Bank President Jim Yong Kim begged Congress to come to a deal on Sunday as he reiterated, “We are five days away from a very dangerous moment” that would be a “disastrous event” for the rest of the world.

Even JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon, does not want to talk about the effects of a debt default — and his company breaks laws and loses money for shareholders regularly.

Not everyone is being negatively affected by the shutdown. You could say that it is a good thing. The government overfunds private defense contractors, ultimately constructing the massive military complex we now call the economy, but now they are benefitting a new type of business: comedy.

I love The Onion and The Daily Show, but usually the political atmosphere must be near catastrophe when they have their best political content.

So again, I ask what, in the most spectacular hell, happened?

Factions have always driven the American political atmosphere. That was the nature of the beast for James Madison when designing the country’s political structure. However, Madison, Alexander Hamilton and other founders of this country always went off of one basic assumption: The elected leaders of this country would be acting out of best interest for the nation as a whole. Neither Hamilton nor Madison could have predicted this type of buffoonery in the national capital.

Who do we blame?

Blame the Supreme Court decision that allowed unlimited political campaign donations from super PACs. Blame the sensationalist news media for being more enticing than hard news. Blame the two-party system. Blame the Tea Party. Blame the debt. Blame incompetence and political hubris.

Blame us for not being loud enough.

Reach the columnist at or follow him on Twitter @humanzane


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