In the wake of a morally bankrupt nation with a divorce rate of nearly 50 percent, readers will be relieved to see that true love is still alive and cooking.
New York Post reporter Stephanie Smith unveiled her masterplan to catch a man after she announced her quest to make her boyfriend 300 sandwiches in exchange for an engagement ring.
Smith gives us the background on her relationship with boyfriend Eric Schulte and divulges how her plan was spurred into action.
“Each morning, he would ask, 'Honey, how long you have been awake?'
'About 15 minutes,' I’d reply.
'You’ve been up for 15 minutes, and you haven’t made me a sandwich?'”
Swoon. I know what you’re thinking. What kind of sandwiches? Why 300? Ketchup or mayo? It all started after Smith made Schulte a particularly delicious turkey sandwich, one so gratifying he exclaimed, "Honey, you’re 300 sandwiches away from an engagement ring!”
Needless to say, Smith immediately began production on her sandwich assembly line.
Readers of The State Press will have noticed heightened attention on the issue of feminism this week after columnists Annica Benning and Christine Truong battled it out journo-style to defend their respective views on feminism as a whole.
I have to admit the whole ordeal was lost on me. Why are these women on the Internet and not following Smith’s example in the kitchen?
The only thing Truong and Benning should be fighting over is best recipe for homemade tartar sauce.
Ladies, put aside the debate on feminism and focus on these kinds of heart-warming tales. After all, what is love if not conditions placed upon you to feed your man gourmet meals in exchange for a ring?
Criticisms of the story include feminists enraged at Smith’s desire to please Schulte simply for a ring and critiques of Schulte himself for being seemingly unable to make his own damn sandwiches.
Listen, I’m sure feminism is great, but this is fairly straightforward story that is in no way hindered by silly things like gender dynamics or societal expectations of love and marriage. By the time Smith hits the big 300, her boyfriend will definitely love her enough to get married. We should be applauding her success.
There’s no reason we can’t take this story at face-value and see it for exactly what it is: a love story about sandwiches. They’re in love.
Let them eat sandwiches.
“We use the phrase ‘make me a sandwich,’” Smith said to NPR. “It's like a euphemism for, you know, ‘give me a kiss,’ or ‘show me some lovin'’ and I think people can start to use that in the same way.”
If you head on over to Smith’s blog chronicling her journey, you’ll see the time and care she puts into each and every one of those sandwiches. They aren’t just sandwiches though. These delectable concoctions are a metaphor for Smith’s own love story, and perhaps the love story we should all emulate. If that’s the case then all I can say is, sign me up for that spicy French dip.
So ladies: Go out there, find the one you love, and whisper softly in his ear, “Let me make you a sandwich.”
Reach the columnist at llonghi@asu.edu or follow her on Twitter @lolonghi.
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