Coffee is sipped, and the morning paper is exchanged, just as they have for the last 19 years that this couple has been married. As their 20th wedding anniversary fast approaches, one question arises, “Honey, are we going to extend our marriage license, or should we let it expire and call it quits?”
New York Times reporter Matt Richtel proposed the idea of a 20-year marriage license. At the end of two decades, just enough time to raise children, your contract of sorts will expire. Proponents argue that with longer life expectancies, and countless other factors, saying “'til death do us part” is just too long of a commitment for modern society.
This idea will essentially ruin the purpose of marriage: agreeing to mold two lives into one. They are agreeing to stand by each others side, through good times and bad, to be a constant partner for the rest of their lives. Making this commitment for just 20 years completely goes against all the promises one makes by becoming husband or a wife. A marriage with an expiration date is basically just an extended relationship promising to end in demise.
Besides, divorce peaks in years three to six, so a 20-year marriage license will still be a far stretch for some. Divorces will still inevitably occur, the only marriages to benefit would be the few that end when their children grow up and move away. But for the general population? This doesn't solve much. Even with a 20-year expiration date, who gets the house? What about the joint bank account? There are still just as many problems to solve at the end of a contract as there are when one files for divorce.
Mexico proposed the idea of a two-year marriage license, which sounds even more absurd than a 20-year one. Talk about romantic: A man proposing “Let’s be together for two years” is hardly a marriage. That’s a relationship that is equivalent to a lot of lovestruck 16-year-olds, who claim to be together forever, and call it quits when college rolls around. A wedding band will become just as meaningful as your boyfriend giving you his class ring if we succumb to a two-year agreement.
Whether it is a 20-year agreement or a two-year agreement, putting an expiration date on a marriage license is a disgrace to marriage itself. Marriage is meant to be the union of two people, coming together in love with no intentions of separating. If we go into marriage with a cop-out date in mind, then why get married at all?
Although modern society isn’t treating marriage with the same value as it once did and divorce is now a more accessible option, these new ideas are much too extreme. If you’re unhappy in your marriage, by all means, file for divorce. However, we should not put an expiration date on marriage. By letting the rising levels of divorce dictate how we treat marriage, we are basically giving up on the idea of love and marriage altogether.
Reach the columnist at dpharias@asu.edu or follow her on Twitter @_Desirayray
Editor’s note: The opinions presented in this column are the author’s and do not imply any endorsement from The State Press or its editors.
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