As I grabbed lunch on the way out of the mall, a sudden realization hit me: I had nearly forgotten about the movie I had seen an hour earlier.
Not that “Seventh Son," was boring, or dull — it just had more of a “fire and forget” effect. A strained, painful “fire and forget” effect.
In a medieval world where everyone speaks with an American accent, Gregory is what's called a Spook, a knight that specializes in hunting monsters. He's kind of hard to understand via Jeff Bridges’s delivery. Gregory finds and trains the seventh son of a seventh son to fight an evil witch that has escaped from the prison he forced her into years ago, all before the next full moon set to occur in just days. Cue scenes full of love, fighting, betrayal, more fighting and one hell of a deus ex machina.
(Photo courtesy of Legendary Pictures)My biggest gripe with “Seventh Son” is the suspended disbelief it asks you to maintain throughout its runtime. In an early scene, Gregory finds the Son, Tom Ward (Ben Barnes), and brings him on as an apprentice after literally dropping a bag of gold in front of Tom’s dad. His mother relents, but Tom responds to the tune of, “Yeah, OK. Sure.” No questions, no thoughts about how he was literally bought instead of convinced (not that he needed it), just something to the tune of, “Sure, dude.”
Leaving Tom open like this had grounds for some decent character development, but that quickly goes south as his transition from farm boy to fighter is hurried from action scene to action scene with little room to breathe in between. Nothing steady seems to tie them together. This “learn as you go” method fits the narrative but feels rushed, with a big twist of fate near the end that could have been seen from a mile away. Then there’s the love subplot with the witch Alice (Alicia Vikander) that, while relatively believable, fails to make any sort of effect by the last curtain.
Julianne Moore’s sultry performance as evil head witch Mother Malkin is one of the few good things about “Seventh Son,” as she’s able to smoothly switch between seductress and badass. Her fellow witches, ranging from soldier Radu (Djimon Hounsou) to sister Bony Lizzie (Antje Traue) also make decent impressions, but Lizzie as Alice’s mother is weird, as they look less like mother and daughter and more like sisters who are at least five years apart. The other three witches of Malkin’s cadre are there, plain and simple, and are given brief moments to shine before being brushed aside.
The special effects add additional flair to the action scenes and it’s a treat to see Jeff Bridges knock heads around, be it staff or fists. The bits of humor are another plus, which makes me wonder if the forced plot would’ve eased up if “Son” delved into more comedy during its two hours. It probably would’ve eased the strained declarations of “Franchise! Franchise!” near the end.
“Seventh Son” has good ideas that are shoved too quickly onto the screen for anyone to extensively care about them. The story feels forced, as does Tom’s hurried development and evolution into a Spook. Thankfully, Moore helps the movie from crashing, as do the great action sequences and sparks of humor that keep it from being dull. It’d be great to see improvements in a possible sequel, but considering it lost to a three-dimensional sponge over the weekend, it’s hard to see that happen.
Reach the reporter at djulienr@asu.edu or follow @legendpenguin on Twitter
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