We all have our role models. From Kanye West to Larry Bird, Beyoncé to Michelle Obama,Taylor Swift to The Beatles, nearly everyone has a person they look up to — and they're usually celebrities.
Role models are typically useful to have; they give us goals to shoot for and show us that we too can achieve greatness. However, we are quick to scrutinize their lives and feel personally affected by their decisions.
We can forgive the mistakes of our friends and family, but can never let celebrities off the hook. It's problematic at best and dangerous at worst to idolize celebrities to a perfect standard that they can never reach.
Before you collect your fandoms and chase after me with pitchforks, hear me out.
Back in July 2015, powerhouse singer and actress Ariana Grande came under heat after a video surfaced on TMZ where the tiny performer was shown visiting Wolfee Donuts in California, licking an on-display donut and declaring, "I hate America."
The backlash was vicious. Across the Internet and TV news, Grande was called everything from bratty and spoiled to hateful and anti-patriotic. Grande later apologized from her personal YouTube account. The video has since been made private, but can still be found online.
When I saw the video, I thought her behavior was childish and wildly inappropriate. (Really? Licking a donut, Ari?) However, I didn't feel the burning hatred of a thousand suns that many others did. People acted as though she was caught vandalizing the White House or kidnapping a small child. If this had been just a regular kid off the street, we probably would've just rolled our eyes and shrugged it off.
hey i wanna say harry styles is too perfect to live on this cruel planet & his heart is too kind and genuine for some people
— k adores h (@93slaurent) September 5, 2015
I understand the hype about celebrities. Celebrities, politicians and professional athletes are everything we normal folks want to be: beautiful, talented, smart and athletic. They seem so perfect that it's easy to expect them to actually be perfect. Nevertheless, they're not. When admiring them, we have to remind ourselves that they are still humans and make mistakes.
Now, I know what you're thinking, "What you're saying applies to everyone, not just celebs! Are you saying we can't have role models?"
First, calm down, please don't yell at me.
Second, yes, this applies to everyone. However, the difference between idolizing your mom and idolizing Taylor Swift is that, chances are, you know your mom personally. You know who she is and how she is and are probably more inclined to give her room for mistakes.
I'm literally crying at the Taylor Swift concert because she is amazing and perfect
— Aspyn Ovard (@AspynOvard) September 5, 2015
What many people forget about celebrities is that we don't know them personally. We only see what they want us to see. Yes, after watching Beyoncé's documentary, I felt like I was her personal confidante too. But the truth is, I'm not, and neither are you.
In the late 2000s, singer and dancer Chris Brown was on his way to dominating the pop world. Brown was an all-around triple threat and his looks don't hurt him either. This rapid climb stopped short after Brown was arrested in February 2009 for domestic violence against his then-girlfriend and fellow recording artist, Rihanna. After this incident, Brown lost many endorsements, his music was taken out of circulation on several radio stations and he withdrew from several public appearances including a performance at the 2009 Grammy Awards.
I could not believe this when I heard it. Not Chris Brown. Not the charming "Kiss Kiss" and "With You" songster. Not the light-skinned, perfect-teethed ideal boyfriend who posed with puppies on the covers of teen magazines. I cried for an hour and broke all his CDs in half. (I was quite a dramatic 12-year-old.)
This was the ultimate betrayal. Chris Brown was a performer I had looked up to and wanted to marry — I mean, admired. Though his career has essentially recovered, I have never been able to look at him the same or support his music like I used to.
Since this fall from grace, Brown has been involved in lots of other public feuds including fights over parking spots with singer-songwriter Frank Ocean, club brawls with Canadian rapper Drake and lots of social media drama with his most recent ex-girlfriend and model, Karrueche Tran.
I constantly catch myself lamenting his transformation and talk about how much he's changed.
But when I really think about it, I have to wonder: Did Chris Brown really "change"? Or was he always like this? Did I ever know him at all?
How is it possible for someone to dislike beyoncé she's perfect
— ️️ (@qweesus) September 6, 2015
When it comes down to it, I don't know who Chris Brown really is. Sure, I can look up his birthday, read his autobiography or watch interviews where he states his favorite foods. But do I know him intimately enough to understand why he makes the choices he makes? I don't think so.
This in no way means that celebrities shouldn't be held accountable for their actions. To a certain extent, being watched and judged is part of the sacrifice celebrities make for fame.
I fully expected Chris Brown to be punished for the awful things he did to Rihanna and for everything else he's done since then. Ariana Grande shouldn't be allowed to torment donuts and pastries as she well pleases either. We all must pay the price for decisions we make.
even pregnant, she's perfect https://t.co/hE1m3ynLWg
— Bianca Danielle B. (@BiancaDaniellle) August 30, 2015
When you idolize a celebrity without knowing them personally, you set yourself up for deception and disappointment. They are not entitled to show us their true selves or justify what we may deem as bad decisions. In fact, many celebrities value privacy to avoid putting their personal lives under a microscope. They are not perfect, they make mistakes too. This is particularly important to remember with the sudden rise in controversial role models like the Kardashians and Miley Cyrus.
Now, I'm not saying to tear down your One Direction posters, sell your Michael Jackson costume or burn down your Oprah Winfrey shrine. But if you're ready to cry over some rude statement Justin Bieber made, maybe you should rethink how much you value your role models.
Related Links:
Lena Dunham remains a role model
Reach the columnist at nlilley.nl@gmail.com or follow her on Twitter @noelledl_
Editor’s note: The opinions presented in this column are the author’s and do not imply any endorsement from The State Press or its editors.
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