Picture this: You are walking down the street. There are no deep voices, no swarms of dark suits bunching together. The smell of suffocating cologne doesn't waft through the air. There are no aggressive commuters pushing their way through the busy crowd.
You feel safe with your earbuds in, and the need to look over your shoulder is no longer there. Only trails of floral perfume, flashes of lively colors and comforting tones surround you.
While this may seem like the beginning of an apocalyptic novel, this is a real society that many women are already pursuing.
It's called the 4B movement, and it gained popularity in 2015 for its "four boycotts:" marriage, childbirth, dating and sex with men. Beginning in South Korea, the movement emerged following an increased interest in feminism. As systemic gender inequality and economic insecurity continued, the traditional feminine roles like motherhood, homemaking and marriage became less appealing.
Although American women haven't started an official boycott of their own, there is a growing trend of women beginning to decenter men from their lives. In fact, 51% of American women 65 and older are currently unpartnered, and Morgan Stanley predicted that by 2030, 45% of women will be single.
As the United States experiences similar trends — including reaching the lowest ever fertility rate in history — men's value in American society is already being challenged by women.
Growing apathetic
Women cite different reasons for choosing to stay single. Some feel that today's men are lagging behind women in academia and the workforce. Others feel the cost of living raises concerns when it comes to marriage and childbirth.
Breanne Fahs is a professor of women and gender studies in the School of Humanities, Arts and Cultural Studies. Fahs believes that many women in America experienced a panic after the reelection of President Donald Trump in November 2024. For example, when far-right political commentator Nicholas Fuentes addressed women in a post following Trump’s win saying: "Your body, my choice. Forever," many female users replied expressing fear over their autonomy.
She also said the declining birth rate over the last few years has involved a lot of blame being placed onto women. When women shared an interest in "boycotting" dating, there was a "moral panic" about how society will function without women centering men.
Beyond the growing rhetoric of declining birth rates, Fahs expressed that America is in a "peak moment of misogyny." The political climate in the country has made women question their interest in men.
"People are very threatened by the idea of women not prioritizing dating and marriage and children," Fahs said.
According to Fahs, people still believe women must comply with traditional "social conventions" instead of exploring options for their own life paths. Therefore, she said, there is an association between women decentering men and societal collapse.
"What goes on in the public sphere, what goes on in the political world deeply affects people's personal lives. And so women are reacting in what seems to me a very rational way by looking around and saying, 'You know, I'm seeing this like hyper-misogynistic, hyper-patriarchal moment, I don't have access to abortion, I'm gonna think about my relationship to men a bit differently,'" Fahs said.
In June 2022, the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, reversing Constitutional abortion protections in place since 1973. Since then, 13 states have outright banned abortion and 12 have become "hostile" to it, according to the Center for Reproductive Rights.
Fahs said that limited abortion access further affected women in their decisions about men. "What does it mean if women lose the ability to choose whether they want to be pregnant? That has drastic implications for people's ability to see themselves as autonomous or not," she said.
What else?
Quynh Le, a junior studying psychology, said she feels like there is an "unspoken trend" of women not focusing on men while in college. Rather than spend time dating men, women are finding their passions, interests and boundaries.
"It's just way more refreshing and I get to choose what kind of direction I want to go," Le said.
Le described men's behavior in talking stages as "low effort communication." When she decentered men and prioritized herself first, she felt like she had more control in her life.
"I get to do more inner work, reflecting and going to therapy, even working on myself or talking to my family more," Le said. "I'm tabling, I'm volunteering, I get to learn and study more in my own time too."
She also said relationships with men involve compromises in order to maintain the relationship. While always a dedicated student, Le felt that the time commitment needed to be in a relationship would take away from time with herself.
By decentering men, women can spend more time focusing on not only their academics, but also their careers. Le felt that choosing to stay single during the early career stages allowed women to explore more of their options without having to accommodate a second person into their plan. When women do involve their partner in their decision making, they may often push aside what they want in order to accommodate their partner.
"Why does the man have a new job and the woman goes with him, but never, she has a new job and then he goes with her?" Le said.
Le said she believes women see education as "a key to freedom," causing them to take their performance in university very seriously and allowing less time to place a focus on men. "I'm happy that we are now realizing that we need to pick ourselves up and have our own life and make ourselves more interesting," she said.
Gabriella Haavaldsen, a junior studying sociology, said relationships were never a priority for her throughout college.
When women decenter men from their lives, Haavaldsen said women place more focus on their education and self-fulfillment. "I think people should have it (relationships) if they want to, but I also think that's not the main goal here," she said.
She feels that the traditional approach to relationships was no longer as common as it was in the past.
"I think that they're (women) taking the approach of, 'Okay, maybe, let me try this. Let me try that. Let me see what I can do to maximize the amount of happiness and security and stability that I can have in my life and be independent and happy,'" Haavaldsen said.
Haavaldsen described her own experience with seeing women compromise for men in a way that is not always reciprocated. When Haavaldsen's mother lived in London and met her husband, she picked up her belongings to move to Norway with him. "Women are made to compromise, to sacrifice something in order to seem valuable," she said.
Haavaldsen said that even in parenthood, women are expected to "put everything aside" in order to become mothers. "We give too much power and credit to men," she said.
Different for everyone
While some women believe that decentering men is done in the form of cutting them off completely, others believe decentering can be achieved differently. Mary Williams is a senior studying architecture and the vice president of Boss Up — a student organization focused on minority women's empowerment. Williams believes that women need a support system of other women in their lives, whether it be sisters, mentors or friends.
"As a woman, I know how important it is to have people to look up to, people to support you and a community in every aspect of the word," she said.
Williams believes that "decentering men" looks different for every woman, saying that women can have important male figures in their lives and "it's more so about removing them from the center of your identity."
She is in a relationship with a male partner and feels like women can pursue relationships without centering their lives around men.
"Because I am personally in a healthy relationship, I feel like being a little centered around myself actually makes my relationship stronger because my partner supports my dreams because they were already mine before him," Williams said.
To her, relationships that decenter men involve "two whole people choosing each other, not one person shrinking the other." She also said women should build and focus their goals and routines before they seek relationships.
"I feel like decentering men sometimes has an anti-men type of negative sound, but I feel like it can be so empowering for women and girls because I don't see self-centering as anti-men at all," Williams said.
Edited by Leah Mesquita, Natalia Jarrett and Abigail Wilt. This story is part of The Love Issue, which was released on February 25, 2026. See the entire publication here.
Reach the reporter at jbanihan@asu.edu
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Jude is a junior studying finance. This is her second semester with The State Press.
