What I'm Looking For In A Friend

It’s sometimes hard for me to make friends. I feel like I try too hard to click with people that I just don’t click with, and don’t try hard enough with the people that stand out. 

There are so many people that I look at or have small talk with in class and think “wow we could totally be best friends if he/she knew how cool I am.” At least for me, it’s difficult to break through the acquaintances phase to the actual friends phase.

I’ve realized that I’ve wasted so much time and effort on maintaining fading friendships instead of creating a few strong, reliable friendships. How do you choose who you want to be friends with? 

Sometimes it just happens. And that’s because the other person actively decides to pursue you. There’s a lot of reasons why people want to be friends with others, but I think I nailed down the general basics. 


The friends who let me confide in them about the intimate parts of my life and actually keep it to themselves stand above the rest. Everyone needs a go to person to vent to.


No one is drawn to the person at the party who is glued to their phone. I’m fixated on the friends that skip the “I don’t know, what do you wanna do?” text and devise a plan to do something fun. It could be as simple as starting a game of “I Spy” on a car ride that spices life up a bit (which everyone needs.)


DO. NOT. TRASH. TALK. Too many times have friendships been tainted by he-said-she-said gossip. Someone who defends me and respects me is worth the effort.


Bluntness may not always be the best method, but always express the truth. Even if it’s something I don’t want to hear, I appreciate the friends that will tell me I’m being crazy or that the dress actually does make me look fat. Those people’s opinions become very valuable.


People absolutely love talking about themselves. Ask them questions and let them do it. Although I do love talking about myself, it’s flattering when someone actually cares about what I’m doing in my life. On the flip side, it’s refreshing to talk to someone who actually answers the question “what’s up” with something besides “nothing what about you.” Be interested, and be interesting. Don’t be afraid to talk about yourself.

I actively seek out people that portray these characteristics. Even someone who has one of these traits is worth pursuing. Personally, in my everyday life and especially when meeting someone new, I strive to showcase these five aspects that I know I encompass. To put it simply, good friends attract good friends.