If getting rid of money by setting it on fire is too difficult for you, consider another, simpler option.
Simply give your money to the government by checking a box and filling out the amount of money you are too exhausted to set ablaze.
According to the East Valley Tribune, Rep. Steve May, R-Paradise Valley has proposed a bill introducing a check-off box on personal income tax forms to make a voluntary tax contribution or to donate your tax refund.
The only thing more asinine than this bill is the people out there that are going to use it.
May's plan might seem wackier than jalapeño ice cream, but it is the best news I've heard since the Diamondbacks won the World Series. I'm not going to be using this opportunity to empty my date-night funds into the government's pockets, but someone is.
Some rich, good-willed person is going to take advantage of this chance to be taken advantage of. Let the bleeding hearts that live on Camelback Mountain fix the budget crisis. Let the middle class parents, who want to secure a future for their children, fund government programs. Let barely literate persons who misread the tax form pay the state deficit.
Maybe that would make me feel like my college education was paying off. I don't care if this bill only raises ten dollars. That's ten dollars I don't have to pay.
Besides, this bill would raise more than ten dollars. There is already a check-off box for education aid that raised $26,000 last year.
Bailing out the government may be a less worthy cause than education, but it's still a cause.
This money would go toward the state's general fund, which as all Arizonans know is facing a possible shortfall of more than $800 million in the next fiscal year.
Every dollar of that $800 million that gets paid off by this bill is one dollar not needed in the form of a tax increase.
Arizona has 3.4 million people. That means that it would take over $200 from everybody to cover this deficit. The government doesn't deserve that. They need to be held responsible for their actions. If they can't balance the budget, then it is our job to elect somebody who can.
$200 is twice my semester's date fund. The State doesn't deserve those dollars.
Not everyone votes. Some people don't vote because they are simply too lazy.
But everybody has to pay taxes regardless of how lazy they are.
This bill puts a twinkle in my eye when I think about the people that are too listless to bring about change through voting and want to write a check instead.
This bill is for the people that take their oil to get changed rather than going to the store, buying the oil and changing it themselves.
This bill is for those who would rather pay someone else to clean up his or her mess instead of using their own proverbial elbow grease.
If people like that want to pay my taxes, let them.
There is an upside to this arrangement. The donated money is deductible. So, at least you don't have to pay taxes on your extra taxes.
Not only is this bill genius beyond that of Henry Ford's assembly line, I think it needs a brother bill.
While we're at it, why don't we add a check-off box for contributing money to a college student's tuition fund? The government already provides grant money for college students.
Giving the general population the right to choose how their contributions are spent puts power in their palm pilots.
In fact, why not have a check-off box for putting money directly into a certain college student date-night fund, thus stimulating the economy and a certain person's love life. The more college students we have eating at Applebee's instead of feasting on cup-o-noodles, the better off we'll all be.
If the government wants to pawn off their monetary difficulties onto the gentle hearted and the deep pocketed, that's fine with me.
After all, it's a form of justice — the price to pay for not carefully reading your tax form and not taking the initiative to vote for state legislators. It becomes an individual responsibility to pay off the state debt.
Besides, it is better for those who want this task to take it on than to force the public into paying higher taxes.
The rich can donate their tax refunds and I'll still have my date nights.
Dave Thurston is a BIS Junior. Reach him at david.thurston@asu.edu.
