Don't like who you're married to? Want a quick fix? Don't want to go through the hassle of getting a lawyer or trying to salvage the commitment you made to your spouse of "for better or worse?" My friends, I have the answer for you!
Step right up and be one of the first to take advantage of the newest wave in modern technology. Now, for a cool $249 (payment plans available) you can terminate your life-long promise of marriage in as fast as your Internet connection will allow.
That's right, getting a divorce in America is about to be as easy as canceling your newspaper subscription.
The new cyber-divorce comes to us via Randy Finney, a happily married family lawyer of 11 years, who created www.CompleteCase.com. It has existed for about a year now in Washington, and has spread to other states such as California, Texas, Oregon, Illinois, New York, and Florida.
A recent user of CompleteCase.com, Stacy Kiss, told USA Today it took her and her husband about three hours to dissolve their marriage of seven years with the help of Finney's Web site. There were no kids in their marriage; however, the Web site can calculate child support payments for divorcing couples who are saddled with wee ones.
The Internet has brought about some great things in our society; unfortunately, it also has brought about some of the most destructive factors to the family unit as we know it. With the advent of the Internet, married men and women can go online and cheat on their spouses in relative secrecy or look at pornography and filth untold.
The advent of divorce-dot-com may be the unhealthy convenience younger people marrying today have been waiting for. A new term being used by young married couples today is something called a "starter marriage." Newlyweds these days seem to think that their first marriage will certainly not be their last. As if to say the first marriage is just a warm up for the real thing.
Is this kind of like that first car you got when you were 16, maybe something like a 1983 Honda Civic? It wasn't that great, but you told your friends someday you would trade it in for something far better, like a Corvette.
Flash forward seven years. Instead of talking about your car with your friends you talk about your wife. "Yeah, she's a brunette, and she can cook, but I'm looking forward to that blond with rich parents that I plan on trading her in for."
It's bad enough that there were 19.9 million divorces in 2000, according to the U.S. Census. With mindsets geared towards impermanence, and Web sites like Finney's, that number is sure to rise.
According to a study reported on the Christian Broadcast Network's Web site, couples who shack up before they marry are 48 percent more likely to find themselves divorcing within five years, compared with those who wait to live together until after marriage. Don't buy the argument that you really don't know someone until you live with them. If you do, there is a good chance you'll be buying a divorce shortly afterward.
Ultimately, make sure you are truly committed to the one you intend to marry. There are people like Randy Finney out there just waiting for you to get frustrated, find his Web site, give him money and be done with it. You'll probably regret it in the long run if you don't try to work things out.
We may be young, but that doesn't mean we need not think about these things. If realize now that life-long marriage is a viable reality, we will be more likely to hang on to that idea if and when we tie the knot.
Don't look to quick fixes for your relationship problems; it never results in a healthy choice. As we grow up and are faced with the ideas of marriage, don't think of your first one as your "first" one — think of it as your only one.
Rob Jones is a political science junior. Reach him at
robert.d.jones@asu.edu.