Professional athletes who hunger for victory know they must perform at the top of their game. They eat their Wheaties, drink their Gatorade, and lace up their Nikes every day in an endless effort to become better, stronger, and faster. Driving and striving, they go the distance and they go for speed. It's never a piece of cake.
Sometimes, however, sports rely on more than physical skill, smart playmaking, and good shoes. Sometimes it's the spirit of the fans or the strength of the team's pre game prayers. Sometimes it's the pitcher's dirty hat, the goalie's lucky mask, or the quarterback's unwashed jock strap. Other times, it's a force more powerful than superstition. A force that can only come from the power of ... witch doctors.
No one knows this better that the Ivory Coast's national soccer team. The Ivory Coast Elephants lay the pride of their country on the line every year when they compete for the African Nations Cup. Losing a Cup game is an intolerable humiliation for the country. According to Reuters, the minister of sport sent losing teams to boot camp, where they were forced to frog march and hear lectures about patriotism.
Sadly for the Elephants and their country, the team has had little success since they won the Nations Cup in 1992, Reuters said. This poor performance may have something to do with the Ivory Coast government's failure to pay some key players.
Again, I'm talking about the witch doctors. Reuters said officials enlisted witch doctors from the village of Akradio to give the team a supernatural edge. Then, after the dramatic Cup victory, the same officials never paid the witch doctors.
Bad call. The witch doctors promptly put a jinx on the team. Evidence suggests that this jinx is significantly more powerful than the kind of jinx where two people say the same thing simultaneously and one has to buy the other a Coke. Ten years later, the Elephants have yet to see any more soccer success. Coincidence?
Ivory Coast Defense and Civil Protection Minister Moise Lida Kouassi doesn't think so. He finally paid the witch doctors Saturday with the equivalent of $2000 and a bottle of liquor.
The powerful presence of witch doctors is not limited to West Africa. No, their magic hits home, right here in good old North America.
Take, for example, the NFL. Going into the 2000-01 postseason, the New Orleans Saints had never won a playoff football game. In their last game of the season, the Saints suffered a crushing at home loss to the St. Louis Rams. Coincidentally, the Rams and Saints would meet again a week later in the NFC wild card game. Things looked bleak in the Big Easy.
At that point, the Saints organization probably realized that they would need some help if they wanted to stop Marshall Faulk from taking the ball wherever he wanted on the field. Instead of turning to their defense, the Saints hired a Voodoo priestess to conduct a pre-game ritual that would lift the curse that prevented the Saints from winning playoff games.
As a result, the Rams played poorly until the end of the game, where they mounted a massive comeback. In the final minutes, the Rams needed a touchdown to win, and the Saints were punting. Rams receiver Az Hakim fumbled the punt return. The Saints recovered the ball and won the game. Clearly, the power of Voodoo had taken its toll on the Rams.
Some people have even theorized that witch doctors in Winnipeg have blocked the Phoenix Coyotes from winning an NHL playoff series. I disagree. Phoenix asks all its fans to wear white to playoff hockey games. The White Out makes it much easier for opposing goalies to see the puck, and thus the Coyotes lose.
Still, witch doctors have the power to drastically alter the outcome of sporting events. If ASU offered witch medicine as a major in the College of Mystic Arts and Sciences, I bet the Sun Devil basketball team could actually make it into the NCAA tournament.
tim agne is a journalism sophomore. Reach him at Tim.Agne@asu.edu to let him know if you're putting a hex on him.
