George W. Bush can do amazing things.
I'm telling you, the man must be a cross between Superman and a chimpanzee or something. He's that powerful.
I mean, who else can lose an election but still win the office, be isolated by the world community during a time of unprecedented solidarity and be greeted by hundreds of protesters wherever he goes — even in Phoenix, Arizona!
Friday's near-violent demonstrations near the Phoenix Civic Center were about the most political thing I've seen here since that time all six Young Democratic Socialists beat drums and wore gas masks to protest global warming or corporate greed or gravity or something.
But Friday they really showed 'em, yeah! About 500 protesters showed up to jeer Bush in…Flagstaff? That must be a typo, since I'm not even sure 500 people live in Flagstaff. Hundreds more chanted and shook their fists outside the Phoenix Civic Center, where Bush was raising money for Matt Salmon, your next ultra-Conservative governor. After a few arrests, debilitating dehydration and the departure of a President who didn't even see their rally, they called it a day.
Such is the life of today's anarchist.
I'm not sure I'm cut out for anarchy. There are too many clever chants to learn and hemp clothing is itchy. Sure, I would love to carry a sign that said, "Let the U.N. Do Their Job," or better yet, "Bush is an Idiot," but I also like eating meat and showering occasionally. Things simply wouldn't work out.
But that shouldn't stop you from joining a group that advocates the disassembly of groups. From Eugene, Ore., all the way to Seattle, groups of anarchists (or near-anarchists) flocked to that other Washington for the big show: the IMF-World Bank demonstrations.
Some 2,000 people rallied around D.C. on Friday, weaving through streets and forming human chains to stop traffic so some could dance in intersections with mud and leaves smeared in their hair. I really wish that I was making this up, but that's what they really did. Mud and leaves in their hair. And they wonder why so many people dismiss them as eccentric.
You should know that protesting against the corporate machine isn't all mud and leaves though. Anarchists are people too. They need a place to stay, food to eat and someone to watch their children while they brave the blunt of the Man. To quote the Associated Press, "a thousand practicalities need to be addressed" before one can be a part of a human chain chanting, "Save a Tree! Burn Bush!"
And it is in dealing with these practicalities that makes for the really interesting part.
Want to dress as a cow and have a friend ritually "slaughter" you, but don't want the little ones to be sprayed with Mace? The oxymoronic Anti-Authoritarian Babysitters Club would be more than happy to watch your children while you're busy chewing your own cud.
Comfortable shoes are a must, but beware the Nike "swoosh" (wouldn't want to condone child labor just so you can walk easier). And, although cell phones are the "Mark of the Beast" with a catchy ring, they come in handy when keeping up with police whereabouts and other protest developments.
Most importantly, though, is water. Protesting in the heat can take a lot out of you so be prepared. You wouldn't want to be like some of the Phoenix protesters who were buying bottled water at inflated prices in between the cries for an end to capitalism. Did I mention the sales from some of that water went to Salmon's campaign? Water's great for flushing tear gas out of your eyes too!
Most of all don't be discouraged. Sure, Bush probably won't be back soon and maybe the "Battle of Phoenix" doesn't have that ring to it, but political activism is something you can do everyday.
Read a newspaper (and I mean more than this column and your horoscope). Stop relying on MTV News as your one stop source to world events. Find out who represents you in Congress and write them a letter.
And for Pete's sake VOTE! It may not be all mud and leaves, but the powers that be will hear you, instead of taking the back way in.
Mark Broeske is an English Education Junior. Reach him at mark.broeske@asu.edu.
