New Times, love 'em or hate 'em, has a fair hand.
Their award should be, "Best Collection of Paper that Accurately and Equally Praises with Glee and Blasts without Mercy the Names, Businesses and Venues that Represent this State," as tough as that would be to fit on a certificate.
New Times is an equal-opportunity offender (and defender for that matter). The "Best of Phoenix" issue casually defends that illustrious title. While the regular weekly headline fodder skewers despicable Phoenix cops and vile school board members one week, the next week it's praising the weak and down-trodden, the featureless and the nameless.
In its hefty girth — the regular issue and the supplemental "Best of" tally in at 336 pages together — the New Times willfully praises the forgotten peculiarities, the abstract nonsense, the decadence of a city expanding on itself, the tireless community that has resounded to specific specifics. Awards aren't "Best Grocery" or "Best Foreign Grocery," but "Best Middle-Eastern Grocery."
The all-encompassing collection of bests, favorites and readers' choices is redeeming not because it offers praise though, but because it daftly concocts a series of fair blessings to the juke joints, slum locales and obscure hangouts that make Phoenix.
Any publication that honors "Best Lawn Art" and "Best Latino Gay Dance Club" can't be unceremoniously tossing favors. For New Times though, its all-around approval of its honorees (nearly 300 of them) is evidence enough that the weekly newspaper with raunchy "female seeking female" personals is loyal to its market and the places that make it unique.
What's even funnier is the contrast of the "Best of" to the regular issue, which just weeks ago summoned small-penised men to phone in their SUV justifications. This is the same newspaper that has, in the past, made unrest in all facets of government (especially in police affairs) and acutely pointed out anyone and everyone that needed a good public thumping.
Their ongoing feud with The Arizona Republic has nearly become an Arizona legend, like the Lost Dutchman or Montezuma. They spiked the major daily's new redesign several weeks ago. I laughed so hard I nearly cracked a rib.
Yes, New Times breeds controversy — look at its relationship with the so-called eco-arsonist — but with this supplemental praising, it proves its pages can be a gathering of nice journalists, not just mean journalists.
I had once imagined the New Times was run by the people that were bullies in grade school (or at least the ones that always gave the teachers lip). Maybe they were, but the "Best of Phoenix" issue is light-hearted and fun. It touched on worthy topics ("Best Politician," "Best Chicken Soup," "Best Spot for an Impromptu Wet Tee-Shirt Contest"), and avoided the mean ones ("Best Place to Score Crack," "Best Place to Key a Euro Car," "Best Place to Get Herpes").
So what this all boils down to is this: New Times has accurately summarized what is Phoenix. It forgot some places and some people, but all in all, it was a fair gathering of the venues and outlets that make day-to-day existence in this wasteland of a desert all worthwhile.
And it proved that the commonly mistaken adage of an angry, villainous New Times staff is not so. Those poking journalists have some heart, especially for the state they have been fingered as hating.
Michael Clawson is a Journalism junior and can be reached at michael.clawson@asu.edu.
