When you think of Matt Salmon, think of the word "challenge."
For instance, Salmon has been "challenged" by independent gubernatorial candidate Richard Mahoney. The Arizona Republic reported Thursday that Mahoney said that Salmon should either quit his six-figure lobbying jobs with Qwest and the City of Phoenix or drop out of the governor's race. Something about a conflict of interest or something. Salmon's reply gives a clear picture of his arrogance and holier-than-thou attitude, saying that Mahoney has been "hanging out with the free pot people too long." That remark could be construed as challenging Mahoney's sobriety.
Then the paper quotes God's gift to Arizona as saying, "I have a family to raise and I have to work for a living." That sounds like Salmon is challenging Arizona voters' intelligence. The word "lobbyist" is not exactly synonymous with anything other than "special interests." Rightly or wrongly, those who practice that particular trade are often thought of in the same light as those who practice the "oldest profession." Of course, many of those people have families to raise too.
It's unlikely that a two or three-month leave of absence would put his family on the welfare rolls. For those who argue that Janet Napolitano is taking money and not doing her job, consider: 1) Her job is amenable to a great deal of delegation. 2) What she's doing cannot be construed as influence peddling.
In the interest of fairness, it should be mentioned that Salmon has pledged to work for Phoenix only in his off time while he campaigns for governor. Downright honorable of him, don't you think? That means he takes a pay cut during the campaign from $18,000 per month to a mere $6,000. And the campaign lasts so long too. Hope his family doesn't go hungry before November.
The challenge for the voters is to figure out just how little Salmon thinks of their opinions — about him or anything else. Lobbyists have figured prominently in many of the Legislature's past boondoggles; they can step right up and get their fair share of the blame for the state's present budget woes. And we're supposed to elect one of them governor? Not only that, one who doesn't give a damn about propriety or conflict of interest? Oh, I forgot, those words aren't in the lobbyists' lexicon.
Ah, but you might be saying that Salmon can get things done. That's surely the sales pitch he gave the City of Phoenix when he got his $187,500 lunch ticket: "I have contacts in Washington and have worked closely with Arizona's congressional delegation."
He's challenging your literacy here folks. He's saying that you can't read. Many recent reports have focused on how little chance there is for the light-rail project to get the money it needs from Washington and noted that other members of the delegation (that Salmon has so much influence over) are, at best, "lukewarm" to the project. Or, maybe he's challenging your ability to put two and two together.
Add it all up and what do you have?
On one hand, Salmon campaigns for integrity, honesty, etc. On the other hand, he takes a job peddling his influence to the highest bidders and refuses to even take a leave of absence while he is campaigning for integrity, honesty, etc.
On one hand, Salmon preaches morality and fairness. On the other hand, he insults his critics by innuendo, playing the "guilty by association" game with Mahoney, for instance.
Yes, when you think of Matt Salmon, think of the word "challenge."
The question is, is he mentally challenged, morally challenged, or both?
Terry Moore is a graduate student in English. Reach him at limerick@asu.edu.
