There is a good chance that the majority of the people reading this article watched the series finale of FOX's reality show "Joe Millionaire" last night. There is also a good chance that, like me, most of the viewers are shocked.
Why should we be shocked? Because not only do we now have videotaped documentation that the most attractive people can be idiots, we also have proof that there is life on other planets. What other explanation is there for the actions and reactions of the people on this show last night?
No normal human being would act prim and proper when told that someone has been stringing them along on national television for weeks. No normal human being could be lied to about a lot of money, then told the truth, and not get angry. For example, Sarah, who many thought was the sure-fire winner of Evan Wallace Marriott's heart but lost, didn't show any emotion. There wasn't even a flicker of anger on her face. She actually smiled! That is not humanly possible.
It is also not humanly possible for a person to be so hypocritical that she sacrifices all her principles. How can we tell this? Look at Zora, the winner of the show--if you want to call her a winner. She admits to Evan that she was turned off by the fake inheritance when she met him. However, after she accepts his offer to continue the "journey" of love and was presented with the $1 million check, she was ecstatic. So we're to believe that a fake $50 million turns her off, but a real $1 million doesn't? Who does she think she's kidding?
What annoys me the most, however, is that these vacuous, shallow ninnies received any compensation at all. I added it up, and it goes like this:
Man lies to women, man charms women, man picks one woman to continue with, man tells woman truth, woman accepts man for who he is, man and woman receive lots of money. So, basically, a guy lied and he got money for it. That having been said, I'd like to take this opportunity to ask the good folks at FOX for my $1 million.
I've lied about lots of things to lots of people. I've lied to girls, I've lied to my parents; I don't have any money to show for it, though, and I want that to change. Actually, let me retract my original statement: I'd like something more along the lines of $10 or $15 million, because I'm much smarter than Evan Marriott. With a higher IQ should come a higher pay check.
For me, the only foreseeable consolation to this whole, disgusting charade is that it can't happen again. Before you ask why, think about this: millions have watched this show. Do you think someone will want to do a FOX reality show where they go to an exotic place away from home to meet a handsome stranger, and not think about this show? This is one reality show that most likely won't be coming back on the airwaves for a second edition.
Josh Spiegel is an entertainment reporter for the Web Devil. Reach him at joshua.spiegel@asu.edu.
