Cover your ears - and your eyes. Rumor has it former undisputed heavyweight biting and boxing champion Mike Tyson may take a jab at his own reality TV show.
Tyson's manager Shelly Finkel confirmed recently that the champ was working out a deal with Triage Entertainment. No network wants to admit it, but we all know those top executives are already thinking up clever titles for Tyson TV.
Although the official network Tyson will appear on has not been announced, executive producers are saying they think they have it narrowed down to one.
Translation: "'Boxing Bites' featuring Mike Tyson" will air on FOX, between "Bi-Polar Bachelorette" and that show where 500 midgets race an elephant while pulling airplanes.
"He's a walking circus," said broadcasting sophomore Brandon Barrad, a lifelong Tyson fan who thought "Tysonvision" would have a large mass appeal.
Besides biting and fighting, Tyson has his fair share of antics outside of the ring. Just days before his fight with Clifford Etienne, Tyson decided to get a large tattoo that wraps around his forehead and left eye. Tyson's trainer said it was an "African Tribal thing," but Tyson said it's the symbol of a warrior.
After a weeklong fiasco of promotion and press, Tyson KO'd the overmatched Etienne in one climatic 49-second round. Showtime rejoiced for making millions of pay-per-view dollars on a main event that lasted less than a minute.
People around the country rioted after the fight was over before they could finish their first beer. Those who gathered to watch the pre-bout got to see everyone's favorite figure skater Tonya Harding make her pro-boxing debut.
Tyson showed he can still bring in the money, and proved himself as one of America's most absurd athletes and personalities. Who wouldn't want to watch Tyson crank his bizarre knob and walk around in public?
"I'd watch him because he's crazy," said Collin Snyder, an agribusiness sophomore. "He might be nuts, and people might hate him, but he's still entertaining."
"Maybe I'm just a domesticated animal," said Tyson in an Associated Press article after the Etienne bout.
I guess reality TV is moving forward from midgets and elephants - to domestic animals that box. Iron Mike, I know I'll be watching.
Reach the reporter at benjamin.honingford@asu.edu.
