Down here in the depths of the Matthews Center basement, we treasure our porn Web sites.
Well, actually, we treasure our freedom to view them wherever and whenever we want.
And this is, of course, referring strictly to our research purposes.
Let us assure you that it's not gratuitous porn-peeking at all. We here at The State Press take nudity very seriously.
And no matter what some of us do while we're Jell-O wrestling on the weekends, at work here, we're all business.
For instance, one of our most renowned and cherished stories, "ASASU executive VP in fraternity porno film," never would have been possible without our extensive, (we're talking hours, people!) research of the Shane's World Web site.
Also, if you don't think we did our fair share of porn surfing for this very editorial, you are sadly mistaken. The freaking XXX pop-ups still won't leave us alone.
Thanks to our generous President Crow, we will continue to be able to utilize the same vital research techniques used in the past.
Apparently, there's some state law that says state university employees cannot "knowingly" look at anything nude on state computers.
So recently, Crow sent out a letter to all employees stating that he has authorized certain employees the continued use of Web sites containing nudity - for certain purposes.
These employees include people doing research, like professors and student teaching and research assistants. If you get permission from a dean, you can access all the porn you want - strictly for academic aims, however.
Rounding out the chosen few are people who work in physical or mental health services, those involved with legal issues and anyone who works with campus media services (YES!).
So if you stop by office hours and catch a glimpse of "NAKED TEENS XXX" on your prof's computer, rest assured, it's his job.
Unfortunately, there is no mention of the regular students getting free porno peeks.
What about (students) surfing in the Computing Commons? Somehow we don't think they're covered.
How can the law leave so many members of our campus community stripped of their porn privileges?
We believe that if you have enough cajones to sit in the middle of the Computing Commons and look at full-frontal shots, then you should have just as much right to your "research" as we do.
