In "Bad Santa," Billy Bob Thornton plays an inexcusable, incorrigible waste of a man with no ambition beyond stealing enough money to be permanently drunk.
In a remarkable parallel, the movie itself is a despicable, repulsive waste of film with no ambition beyond lightening the Christmastime wallets of lowbrow suckers.
"Bad Santa" is among the very worst movies I've ever seen, and that's including "Mystery Science Theater 3000" episodes and "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes."
Dimension Films seems to hope that the word "fuck" will generate laughs and accompanying revenue without the support of good writing, acting or directing. Even worse than the gratuitous profanity is that the theme will likely attract a sizeable proportion of kids who will be subjected to the profanity, irredeemable plot and risible sexuality.
Two leitmotifs will titillate the preteens: testicle trauma and bathroom humor ad nauseum. The standard kicked-in-the-balls scenes are the high comedic points of the movie.
There's violence, too, but none that would interest action movie fans. Santa beats on a few prepubescent skaters in a scene that's supposed to cast him in a good light. And at the end of the movie he gets shot down in a hail of slow-motion bullets. The story of why and how he gets to that painful climax is as boring as the by-the-numbers-for-a-comedy love scenes between Thornton and Lauren Graham.
The "little people" theme was already tired before this movie was made, and now it's gone a step beyond a step too far. I don't begrudge short actors their work, but it seems exploitative to me that they're always in the same kind of role.
There's a suicide scene that hangs like an indigestible piece of gristle in the middle of the movie. It's out of place and funny as a wet blanket, adding no real pathos for all that.
In the end, it seems the audience is expected to buy two or three meaningless gestures on the part of Santa as a kind of redemption, but it's not convincing, and it's totally undermined by his closing monologue.
The Christmas theme seems to hang loosely on the story, as if it were tacked on to a rejected screenplay just to cash in on the holiday season. It could have been about any scam perpetrated by any losers.
The only enjoyable part is watching John Ritter as the square department store manager. He plays the part of a pushover straight and funny, and delivers a line that either ironically or inadvertently condemns "Bad Santa." Talking to the store's security manager (Bernie Mac), he complains about Santa's sex in the dressing rooms and relentless swearing. He doesn't want to interfere with an adult's right to legal behavior, he says, "but when you're dealing with children ..."
Rated R for pervasive language, strong sexual content and some violence with a running time of 93 minutes.
Reach the reporter at jesse.christopherson@asu.edu.
