Move over, Ronald Reagan.
CBS, which will pump next weekend's Super Bowl into 130 million American homes, has decided yet again to shield American eyes from political controversy. This week's victims are liberal advocacy group Moveon.org, and People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.
Moveon and PETA have been barred from showing television ads that mirror two tried-and-true marketing icons: visions of a youthful American work force, and the ever-popular, scantily-clad female. The Moveon ad, winner in the national Bush in 30 Seconds contest, shows children running machinery in menial and low-paying jobs, then closes with the text, "Guess who's going to pay for President Bush's $1 trillion deficit?"
PETA's 30 seconds of fame features two ladies in the same lack of clothing made famous by beer companies. The ad shows these ladies getting a bit too friendly with an overeager pizza delivery guy with "extra sausage," only to have the encounter fizzle after said pizza guy and 130 million American viewers learn that "Meat may cause impotence."
So what's the problem here? If you ask CBS, they say they won't run ads on "controversial issues of public importance." No surprise here. In November, CBS bowed to considerable political pressure when it shunted "The Reagans" mini-series to cable-cousin Showtime. Free speech advocates had a field day with that one, but things are probably better that way. On Showtime, at least you get to skip all the truck and Levitra commercials and cut straight to the Gipper.
It's not as though Super Bowl ads are any stranger to controversy. In 2002, the White House was allowed to bring us a 30-second spot that alleged that your neighborhood drug dealer funnels his profits directly to al-Qaida.
Television networks feature what is often billed as 'fair and balanced' coverage of current news. However, not even for the $2.3 million cost of a Super Bowl ad can one buy some good old-fashioned American free speech. This cornerstone of democracy apparently doesn't apply to political activism as much as it does to consumer confidence.
But, to be honest, who really needs to see another impotence-related commercial? If this football game is like any other this season, we'll no doubt be treated to another Levitra ad with an over-the-hill quarterback throwing the football through a tire swing. Because we all know that one isn't suggestive.
As far as our scantily-clad friends go, maybe CBS was just trying to prevent a glut of flesh. But the ladies will surely be present in droves to tell you that their beer has fewer carbs than the others or that your truck doesn't eat big enough rocks for breakfast.
If you fear you won't see enough of the Budweiser bikini team on the tube this year, you could always head to Houston, home to the mother of all Super Bowl tailgate parties. Starting on Friday, historic downtown will become the site of the 16-block Circus Maximus, a "twisted version of the classic Western spectacle" brought to you by Coors Brewing Company, Dodge Trucks and Maxim magazine. Clothing is sure to be in short supply, but at least they'll have enough 5.7-liter HEMI muscle to move all that beer around.
Brian Clapp is a biology and political science senior. Reach him at brian.clapp@asu.edu.
