Are '80s fashions back, or are the '80s back?
About two decades ago, shag haircuts were slowly cropping down into the mullet, and what we today call "vintage" rock T-shirts draped the chest of every red-blooded rocker. A Republican was about to get reelected, Donald Trump was raking in big bucks and the world was about to learn from Gordon Gekko (Wall Street) that "Greed is good." It was a time when straight guys wore skin-tight, sleeveless shirts and really short, frayed jeans. They'd even wear knee-high socks with Converse high tops and still managed to get laid.
Today, the shag haircut is cropping into a neo-mullet on the runways, and AC/DC T-shirts are selling for as much as a leather jacket. A Republican might again get reelected, and Donald Trump is raking big bucks and Nielsen ratings with a hit show. It's 2004, and once again, straight guys can wear skin-tight, sleeveless shirts and still manage to get laid. Yes, the 80's are back, if only slightly toned down.
The beauty of history repeating itself is we get a rare opportunity to learn from our mistakes.
For example, we may want to evoke the fancy-free look of layering brightly colored shirts, but instead of the '80s shirts, which were too roomy, try a millennial update from Hard Tail. In keeping with the layered look, Hard Tail specializes in comfy T-shirt materials, but in vibrant colors and form-fitting cuts. For the spring line, Hard Tail is featuring cropped leggings, matched with a double-layered skirt. They play with the multi-layered top, but in 2004, this look is getting a revealing makeover: layered spaghetti-strap tanks.
Off-the-shoulder sweatshirts à la Jennifer Beals in Flashdance were cute, but again, not revealing enough for our skin-obsessed decade. Today's off the shoulder look is a bit riskier, a bit tinier and more formfitting. It also includes minimal accessories.
Speaking of accessories, some ground rules on what should and shouldn't come back need to be set. For starters, under no circumstance, should one get the urge to revive the Swatch watches-cell phones all have a clock built in! Also on the black list: T-shirt cinching loops. (Why didn't girls just wear smaller shirts?) Also, avoid the urge to revive banana hairclips, large loop earrings (very inconvenient for foreplay) and layered socks (even one pair is too many because we like to see your cute toes). And for crying out loud, do not crimp your hair. Hair that resembles a botched arts and crafts project should never comeback.
There are signature '80s must-haves that either never went out of style, or should come back in style, like the always hip little Izod crocodile, Adidas Classics, and the coveted, hard-to-find Sergio Valente jeans. If you can find one of these vintage beauties, in any size, at any thrift store, get it. It may not fit past your ankles, but the unmistakable Valente back pocket, with the curvaceous "V" is just the kind of '80s we like to see. These jeans are hot and will likely become the must-have item in every woman's closet this season. Aside from vintage jeans that are still around, Sergio is giving us new reasons to celebrate denim, with uber-sexy mini-dresses, pleated skirts, and tastefully high-cut miniskirts. Any one of the Valente denim bottoms, with a worn out Rush concert shirt, and a slightly oversized pair of earrings is enough '80s to make you hip with the new "old" trend, without looking like you've been stuck in a time capsule.
The moral of this fashion flashback is you can relive the '80s and look damn sexy doing it-just don't over do it. When the '70s made a brief cameo in the '90s, we all wanted to protest, but our trusted designers managed to capture the gaudy essence of the '70s. They toned it down and streamlined it for a more sensible decade. The same is true of the '80s fashions; they are back, but they are older and wiser-slimmer and sexier.
But just one warning for the guys: the single earring wasn't cool then, and it isn't cool now. Either wear both ears, or just don't wear them at all. And girls, unless you are punk rock, don't dress punk rock. That means no arm warmers, no fingerless gloves and no leather and spike jewelry, unless you own at least one Dead Kennedys "Cassette." It may be a new decade, but the word "poser" is as much a reality today, as it was in the '80s.
Reach the reporter atsaman.mehrezar@asu.edu.
