Confidence. The trait that enables the worst of us to dance on tables every time we sniff a beer, and the best of us to sock it to a board of interviewers. Without it we would be jibbering wrecks, unable to look anything in the eye -- even the rabid birds hanging around your apartment -- let alone strike up a conversation. Yet every single one of us will experience a crisis of the Big C without recognizing the symptoms; sweaty palms, fluttering heart, sickened stomach ... easily confused with the aftermath of eating a reheated chilidog from the garage.
A friend of mine recently got a haircut at a rather classy establishment and paid over the odds for it. When she came to meet me immediately afterwards, she was on the verge of tears -- they hadn't given her what she had asked for, and she hated it. When I asked if she had pointed this out at the time, she complained that she had tried to, but the hairdresser had been so nice she felt mean.
After girly hugs and constant reassurances that there was nothing wrong with the haircut, we were still faced with the same predicament, she had paid for the privilege of receiving a hairdo she didn't want, and she didn't have the confidence to go back and ask for something to be done. She'd rather have attacked it with a pair of rusty scissors herself. So I put my war paint on.
Understandably, I was in a far better position than my friend to fight the hairdressers head-on; I had nothing to lose, didn't know who any of them were, and I never needed to go back again if it turned into a humiliating debacle.
Fortunately it was smear free, and my friend obtained a free re-do once I managed to pry her through the door. How we skipped home that afternoon; we had busted the Big C and fought for consumer rights. My mother would be proud.
I just thanked my lucky stars it was only a haircut we were after. As a friend, I would hope to be there every time she needed someone, from degree stress to relationship issues -- even violence, sexual abuse or drugs. It can happen to anyone, and that's when your confidence needs to be unshakeable. It can be easy to presume that confidence is simply part of your personality; if you have it then whoopdidoo and if not, well, just get over it. ASU certainly doesn't believe that, and neither should you. Confidence can be acquired, and our University is on the ball in providing the wherewithal to get it.
A quick trip to the Counseling and Consultation offices as a hypothetical "crisis in confidence" case opened a door to the numerous options one can choose. From personal counseling in a one-on-one situation, to the 'Overcoming Shyness' group led by a psychologist, you can find something that hits the issue full-frontal.
If accepting that you have a problem seems a little drastic, then there are all manner of groups which cater to specific issues. You could attend the Career Services' mock interviews if you're wobbly about applying for jobs, or the Multicultural Center workshops if you are a new international student unable to make friends. There are numerous groups helping with "Student Growth," "Women's Experience," "Sexual Harassment" and so on, all led by qualified psychologists and run with strict confidence (if you'll excuse the pun). You can find out about any of these and more at www.asu.edu/counseling-center or by calling (480) 965-6146.
Confidence can be a life-altering trait -- just make that a positive thing. Today we clamor for recognition and acceptance in every walk of life, while some of us are too afraid to answer the door. Help yourself, and you may just be able to help others. Whether you do it in the name of a dodgy haircut or something with far greater implications, the Big C can be yours.
Katie McCrory is a history junior. Reach her at kathleen-ellen.mccrory@asu.edu.
