Ever since this publication made the fateful decision to hire me, I have complained and complained. And then complained some more.
Someone might actually confuse me with Bill O'Reilly, only with longer hair and a tan.
But since "fair and balanced" is all the rave, I might as well try to look at the fairer side of things. So to even out the whines, some thanks are in order.
Thank you, John Kerry, for a graceful concession speech three weeks back. That one speech almost made up for nine months of your soporific ramblings. Especially the part where you wanted to hug each person who worked hard for you. As far as hugging me for all my pro-Kerry columns, I'll take a hug from Vanessa instead.
Thank you, "Halo." Enough said.
Thank you, Arizona voters for supporting Proposition 400 -- mass transit and freeways. We all know this is not the magic lamp that will make gas as cheap as water. That said, we have to start somewhere to stymie the resource that keeps terrorists so well funded.
Thank you, Residential Life and Parking and Transit Services. Going by your performances this semester, I am convinced you can be completely incompetent, have the public relations skills of Tony Soprano, fail to present your side of the story despite being hammered week after week and yet sit pretty in your office.
The question is: What's your secret -- thick skin or lack of self-esteem?
Thank you to the Coalition of Health Organizations seeking a statewide smoking ban in all public spaces. Smokers have the right to mess with their health, not mine. It's about time someone told them off. If this ban does not go through, someone can try to convince ASU President Michael Crow that banning smoking on campus will bring in money for a new building.
Thank you, Southwest Biological Science Center, for helping keep the Grand Canyon beautiful using a new controlled flood. This may help restore some of the beaches, fish and plants lost because of the unnatural flow of the Colorado River below the Glen Canyon Dam. Of course, this is hardly front-page news. It's not like a wardrobe malfunction of some hot celebrity.
Thank you, Google. After the way-cool desktop search, the search engine now allows you to look for scholarly work online without any charge or pop-up ads. Chances are, Google will not come back six months later after having fixed all the glitches in the first version and call the product an upgrade.
Thank you, University Symphony Orchestra. The concert on Monday will have concluded by the time this prints, but it promises to be a treat during a stressful time in the semester. In the age of Britney's pears and Ashley "Lip sync"son, Beethoven and Copeland are sounds for sore ears.
Thank you, Ben Bloomgren. Bloomgren was featured in the Thursday edition of The State Press Magazine as one of 42 legally blind students at ASU. By being upbeat about things and not complaining, you set an example for people like me who can't get beyond the gas prices, exams and so forth.
Thank you NCAA, for raising the standards used to recruit athletes. This change requires an explicit ban on using drugs and alcohol to attract talent. I go into raptures with the rest of the stadium and even take it like a man when I lose my parking spot on game days. The same school spirit should be reason enough for athletes to come.
On a more serious note, thank you to everyone who has given and helped the less fortunate this Thanksgiving. It's great to have some time in the year when we stop looking for that really cool deal and think about others.
When we deal in compassion, we uphold the Roosevelt covenant that says, "The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much; it is whether we provide enough for those who have too little."
Of course, I dare not overlook the gratitude that some 56 million Americans feel as I type this. Thank you, Bill of Rights, for the 22nd Amendment.
Nishant Bhajaria is a Computer Science graduate student. Send him your appreciative e-mails at Nishant.bhajaria@asu.edu.
