We have something in common, you and I. We may not be from the same town or have the same color eyes, but we are alike nonetheless. We have both been betrayed by someone we loved.
Ah, love. It can make a person do the craziest things. Famous heroes and heroines kill each other (and often themselves) over the relentless burn of unrequited love. The greatest novels and epic screenplays deal primarily in the trade of hearts.
Unfortunately, not all love stories have a Hallmark ending. Scarlet letters have been burned into the chests of adulterous women, and adulterous men have irrevocably lost family honor. And these days, it seems most marriages meet an unhappy end.
Yet when a marriage meets its untimely demise, it is rarely clear who is to blame.
Chicagoan Steven Cyl is completely clear about who is at fault for his marriage kicking the proverbial bucket. The answer: his neighbor Lee Bauman, a Chicago firefighter who met Cyl's wife, Lupe, in a bar and began an affair. When Lupe left Cyl for Bauman in June 2004, Cyl did what any man would do. He filed suit.
Apparently, in some archaic piece of legislation left from the 19th century, it is actually still legal in the state of Illinois to file "alienation of affection" lawsuits. These suits date back to 18th century England, when a woman was viewed as her husband's property. The legislation has since been abolished in England, Canada and most of the United States.
The heart of Cyl's claim is that he and his wife shared a happy marriage and Lupe would not have strayed without Bauman's encouragement. "I want them to admit what they did to me," Cyl told the Associated Press. "I want them to admit they had an affair."
It would be impossibly cold-hearted not to sympathize with poor old Cyl, who seeks unspecified damages for his "great mental suffering and anguish." We have all been there: crushed and utterly miserable. At least he is taking the legal route to revenge instead of cleaning out the shotgun and heading down the street for a neighborhood barbecue.
Yet there is something disturbingly old-fashioned about this whole proceeding. By suing Bauman for what is essentially "wife stealing," Cyl places darling Lupe squarely in the uncomfortable position of being his personal property. It implies she was either too weak-willed to resist Bauman's charms or too morally irresponsible to do the "right" thing.
In either case it makes her subject to the whims of the men around her. Lupe is not being held accountable for choosing to pack her bags and move in with her lover -- Bauman is. Lupe is not being portrayed as making the decision that caused Cyl such torment -- Bauman is. Lupe is not being held responsible for her own actions. She is merely the pawn of the superior beings around her.
Perhaps even more disturbing is the fact Cyl is seeking monetary compensation for his broken heart. It is the American way to look for profit in every plausible situation, but to request financial reparation for the damages to his emotional well being is more than a little disgusting.
What is next -- suing crushes, conquests and unrequited loves for the emotional strain they cause? It is no different to sue someone for falling out of love than it is to sue for refusing to return your affections in the first place.
Buck up Cyl -- we have all been there before and will undoubtedly be there again. Lupe most likely was not some weak creature lured by the wiles of the man down the block, but rather was a woman who chose to leave her marriage of her own free will. Crumbling relationships are painful, yes, but there is no standard price for the heart.
Katie Kelberlau is a history and religious studies senior. Reach her at dointhechop@yahoo.com.
