If another Constantine movie is ever made, I suggest that its producers stick with the biblical story of Constantine the Great, and not a Los Angeles smoker.
Based on the large comic book novels by DC Comics, the movie goes through sloppy storytelling by starting off with a sword that can spawn the son of Satan and ends with a double-agent angel that the audience only sees for a two-minute scene in the beginning.
John Constantine (Reeves) will choose heaven over an eternal nightmare, but unfortunately he can't get into the former. Constantine starts out with an explosive car crash, and two young men who find a sword that unleashes demonic spirits in the sweaty armpits of Mexico.
Once the sword is found, it opens a gateway for a countless number of tiny gargoyles and monsters--made up of various insects--to take over innocent bodies and start killing them. Luckily, the city of Los Angeles has a supernatural, crime-fighting exorcist, John Constantine, and his taxi driving protege, Chaz (Shia LaBeouf). Constantine is the only living human that can see heaven's angels, and Purgatory's devils.
Since he is a devout Catholic who has tried to commit suicide earlier in his life, he now spends his life trying to earn his get-out-of-hell-for-free card by ridding the world of the bloodsuckers. Unfortunately, while dealing with the coughing spells of lung cancer, he knows he can't do much. Still, he tries to help others, including a detective named Angela Dobson (Rachel Weisz). Together, they investigate the death of her twin sister by going through hell again and again to make the world a better place.
Keanu Reeves has entered one too many Faustian Pacts after this film. Maybe he has the gothic vibe that Hollywood casting director's love, but I would like to see him play more colorful characters like in the Bill and Ted flicks.
The special effects are decent, but the swarm of CGI bugs recurring throughout the entire film still doesn't make sense to me. In Keanu's past devil-related movie, The Devil's Advocate, he had the help of smooth-talking Al Pacino, but now that he's handling the main acting role himself, he talks like a raspy Macintosh computer voice for two complete hours without any substance or voice fluctuation.
That's a torture all in itself. As for DC Comics and its comeback in the movie business, the company fell flat on its face. It should leave the hell-fighting, demon-hunting superhero business up to Marvel's Blade and Hellboy.
Rating: 2 stars out of 5.
Monis Rose is a freelance movie reviewer for the Web Devil. Reach him at monis.rose@asu.edu.
