Turkey, no butter. Pumpkin pie, no chance. Mom's special silverware and dishes, forget it. This is the Thanksgiving holiday that will ensue at our household Thursday; our meal altered to cater to my aunt and her family who practice the conservative Jewish tradition.
While the menu diverges from the norm, the spirit of Thanksgiving remains the same, a general thanks for everything. At our dinner table, attended by both extremes of secular and conservative religious backgrounds, who will be thanked and how?
Reporter Jamiee Rose from The Arizona Republic notes Thanksgiving is the "day we feel most compelled to pray, to halt the hustle and bow our heads in gratitude." Rose continues by reminding us that the moment for prayer can be awkward since many share the table with people of different cultures and beliefs, or lack thereof. How is this situation to be remedied?
First, giving thanks and saying a prayer are not synonymous. Claiming Thanksgiving is about prayer denies the true spirit of this holiday. Not praying, or the choice not to pray, defines this November tradition more accordingly.
My immediate family has never prayed before devouring our Thanksgiving meal. We do, however, take a moment to say thanks for many things, without referring to God. Having shared Thanksgiving with other families that do pray, there has never been an awkward moment for deciding what is going to be said.
And one Thanksgiving spent with family friends who are Christian began with me being asked to give a prayer in Hebrew. While I do not care for prayer much, it was my pleasure and honor to respect that part of their tradition.
Perhaps respect is the key. The religious beliefs of my aunt and her family are considerably different from my own. Still, having the opportunity to see and spend time with them is a large part of Thanksgiving, and the reason they will be our guests.
The fact that they eat kosher food off of kosher dishware is not an obstacle. If anything, it is a learning experience. Our family will learn how to cook a kosher Thanksgiving Day meal, engaging in an activity of tolerance and acceptance. After all, this is family.
While many, like Rose, accept Thanksgiving as a day traditionally set aside for prayer, this is not always the case. According to the History Channel Web site, the original Thanksgiving was a secular celebration and had nothing to do with prayer.
So Thanksgiving is not about prayer, is that what this article is all about? Certainly not.
Like everything else, Thanksgiving is what you make of it. If you choose to celebrate turkey day as a religious holiday, go for it. If it's simply a secular gathering of friends, fine. If you want to avoid it altogether, that's your right.
This is a holiday about respect and tolerance. It's that simple.
I'm not sure about you, but this Thanksgiving I'm looking forward to some good, ol' fashioned, kosher cooking.
Noah Lewkowitz is a graduate student in architecture. Reach him at noah.lewkowitz@asu.edu.
