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Leighton: Vanity, not fair for fetuses


In this day and age, instant gratification reigns supreme. People are willing to pay anything for convenience: ASU parking decals closer to campus (yikes! those are pricey!), five dollars for a cup of coffee that someone else makes for us- the list could go on, but that wouldn't be convenient for me.

So, in the realm of convenience, it seems as though nothing is safe from the tendrils of speediness, not even the birth of a child. It is not enough to know the sex of your child. Nowadays we want to know more.

Ok, many of you reading this paper are probably not aware that at one time in history, it was not possible to tell the sex of the baby at the four or five month stage. It's true. And coffee was a quarter, and you got milk- whole milk, and you liked it.

Anyway, no longer content to "ready the nursery" for the impending boy or girl, parents want to see what the child looks like, presumably to start the plastic surgery fund if the baby has Uncle Ralph's beak-ish nose.

Parents are so eager to see what their baby is going to look like, that three and four-dimensional technology is becoming a staple in baby exams.

Gone are the days of granular, two-dimensional ultrasounds and the doctor's hand drawings of little tiny stick babies.

These new up-close, almost Kodak perfect sonograms are truly spectacular. You can see if your precious little girl got Uncle Ralph's giant beak, or if your tiny addition is not so tiny, sadly resembling Aunt Marge.

And if you were so inclined, you could count the wrinkles on their chubby little hands. Go ahead and say it with me: "Aawww!"

After a quick Google search, I discovered that there is an ultrasound clinic in Los Angeles that offers package deals for this service, as the expectant families thirst for pictures of their in-uteri baby.

I am not a doctor (though I did play one on TV), but can all of this exposure, both literally and figuratively, be good for the baby?

It seems like this story can't get any more bizarre, but it does. In a March 2005 article, Time Magazine reported that even shopping malls are taking up the trend with brands like "Womb with a View" and "First View Ultrasound" kiosks.

Well, they're not really kiosks, but how less personal can you get? This trend may be all well and good, but going to the mall to have this stuff done is going a bit far. Heaven forbid if there is something wrong with the baby, and you have to find out from the pimply-faced clerk who is doing the ultrasound.

That is, of course, unless you are at Scottsdale Fashion Square, in which case the blonde clerk has flawless skin, which doesn't really help either.

Some of these instant gratification places at the malls sweeten the pot by adding limo rides to and from the mall, DVD's of the ultrasound with soft music, and unlimited Kleenex tissues for the momentous occasion. Excuse me while I use my unlimited supply of toilet paper.

I guess nothing is sacred and I, personally am excited to see the first pictures of the "Most Beautiful Fetus" (MBF), once the idiot working at the clinic leaks them and the pee stick Angelina used to confirm Brad's baby.

I can hardly stand it. I am going shopping as soon as they release the seven or eight-dimensional ultra-sound of the "MBF." The fact that I can say "MBF," and you all know that I am talking about the Brangelina fetus, is really scary.

Angi Leighton is a psychology major and can be reached at the ultra-sound lab for the results at angela.leighton@asu.edu.


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