The renaming of the new McAllister Academic Village could be one of the few instances in the history of ASU where administrators sound like cut-ups and students would appreciate some seriousness.
Last week, students were asked to vote on seven plant species that can be found in Arizona -- from a list of 13 -- whose names would be given to the new dorm buildings on Apache Boulevard. On first glance at the names on the quarter-page check sheet that students used to mark off their choices, it seemed likely the real ballots had been snatched up and replaced with fake ones as some sort of student prank.
But the names the administration provided students to choose from were dead serious. And, on Thursday, the winners were announced: Chuparosa, Fluffgrass, Jojoba Bush, Wooly Daisy, Devil's Claw, Fairy Duster and my personal favorite -- only because it's the name of a James Bond movie -- Goldeneye.
The names will now be passed on to a committee for final approval later this month.
Yes, it is a good idea, in theory, to name the new residence halls after foliage that can be found in the state of Arizona. Sounds like as good a thought as any.
But does anyone really want to live in Wooly Daisy Hall? It sounds funny on paper, but think of the poor saps -- no pun intended -- that will actually have to call the buildings home.
What if you're hosting your buddy from out of town and show him around old Chuparosa? What about if you're bringing a member of the opposite sex back to your pad to hang out, only your pad is called Fluffgrass? What if your parents come in for family weekend and find you sleeping in Jojoba Bush?
It would be embarrassing, plain and simple.
Think the administration is actually trying to be funny, hip or make students laugh by the choice of names?
This may be hard to believe, but there is actually a rule at ASU stating that all residence halls and complexes must be named after geographical formations in Arizona.
Okay. No alcohol in dorms is a rule that's unfortunate, but we must live with. Staying quiet after a certain hour on weekdays can be inconvenient, but it makes sense. No candles, toasters or George Foreman Grills in residence halls is stretching it, but there's still logic there.
But I ask you: why the hell should I be forced to live in a building called Fairy Duster Hall?
Giving such a goofy list of plant names to choose from is ridiculous. But what's even more ridiculous is there's actually a rule on campus stating residence halls can only be named after Arizona geographical formations.
Instead of asking students to vote on silly plant names, the rule should have been abolished long ago. And students should be voting from a list of names they actually would like to have -- no restrictions.
The only plant name I might keep, along with Goldeneye, would be Devil's Claw, just because it sounds indicative of our school mascot. Just as long as UA students don't paint the building red and blue before major sporting events.
Christopher Drexel is a journalism senior. Reach him at Christopher.drexel@asu.edu.
