I knew the ending before the film even began. But like the morning of Sept. 11, I stared at the images, rigid and sick, wishing and wanting it to be different.
There is no happily ever after for the passengers of "United 93." We know this because it's too soon to forget the day terrorists turned American planes into weapons of mass destruction. Much too soon to forget the thousands of victims whose deaths were broadcast on national television.
Although the images haven't been forgotten, time has begun to heal the emotional suffering. The fear, helplessness and urge to be with loved ones isn't as intense as it was in the days following Sept. 11.
Regardless of the controversy surrounding it, I wanted to see the film. I'd read families of the victims had endorsed "United 93" and that a percentage of profits would pay for a memorial. But my reason for watching the movie was to force myself to recall fading details and emotions. Recalling the tragedy would be my tribute to the victims and their families. I was prepared to be miserable, and I expected tears.
But I was surprised by the intense wave of panic I felt as I watched the first plane crash into the World Trade Center. I was frozen when the second plane ripped through the towers. And I thought I'd be sick when the third plane crashed into the Pentagon. I was not comforted by the final, fourth plane that was diverted (from its White House target into an empty field) by United 93 passengers turned heroes.
The film did more than make me remember; it took me back to the horrible moment when I no longer felt safe in my own country. Back to when I realized America might join the ranks of other foreign countries that accept terror on their land as part of a horrific, but realistic national threat.
I was forced to recall how I'd feared taking my son to the mall, or anywhere that was highly populated because I was convinced large American crowds made for an attractive terrorist target. I cried again for the local Sikh man who was murdered by an American in an act of revenge against all foreigners.
In the days since watching the film, my lasting emotion is frustration. I'm angered by my government's failure to keep Americans safe.
"United 93" serves as a reminder of our government's lack of accountability to its citizens and the Bush administration's inability to learn from its mistakes.
Central air traffic controllers couldn't communicate with satellite offices. The Federal Aviation Administration couldn't reach the military. And the military couldn't reach President Bush or Vice President Cheney.
And as the time lapsed thousands of Americans died. This isn't a matter of blame. I don't believe Americans need or want an apology. Sorry won't bring back the dead.
Since Sept. 11 we watched government agencies, whose primary responsibility is securing our safety, fail to protect Hurricane Katrina victims. We learned the hard way that government agencies left to their own devices will remain paralyzed. Our president must know when it is time to circumvent the red tape and bring together the right people at the right time to keep us all safe.
Dianna is a graduate journalism student. Reach her at dianna.nanez@asu.edu.
