I just got back from a weeklong conference in Washington D.C. We all arrived at the hotel not knowing a soul, but by the end of the week we all left having made wonderful friends.
When I got back, I wondered why we all let ourselves become close when we knew that after the end of the week there was a good chance we would never see each other again.
Maybe longevity isn't the point. Maybe it's the act of caring about someone else.
The ends don't have to justify the means when we're talking about making connections with people. The journey is the destination. The caring about someone is the point, not whether or not you stay friends forever. It's the act in itself.
Without these temporary connections, everyday existence would be overwhelmingly mundane. My week in D.C. would have been pretty dull without making any friends.
It doesn't really matter whether or not we actually keep in touch (though it would be nice if we did), because like I said, the ends don't have to justify the means. We don't have to have some fantastic friendship or love down the line to have made connecting at all worthwhile.
It is the act of being friendly and making connections that is the entire point.
It's the human experience. It's life.
Memories can last forever, so future interactions with a specific person don't erase what you once had. They are just another chapter in your story.
So, that's why I don't chastise people who don't keep in touch with me. I've realized that they have their place in the history that is my past, and I can treasure that time and keep it forever whether or not they choose to continue the story in the future. That would just be extra.
Some individuals choose never to have loved (or made the friends) at all. And I think that's unfortunate.
I understand that they are trying to avoid any sort of pain, but they are also avoiding any sort of love and friendship in their lives as well. They are so terribly afraid of loss that they never open themselves up to care about others. These are the people that upon their deathbed have terrible regrets. These people are missing out on life itself.
Life is interconnectivity.
Caring about someone always leaves you changed as a person. You learn from love, friendship and loss. That's all a part of life that it'd be a tragedy to miss. Love and pain go hand in hand. There is not one without the other.
In the end, you can measure your life by the number of meaningful connections that you have made. Whether or not they stood the test of time isn't really the point.
The point was in the connecting itself. To connect with others is to live. And it means more in the end to have actually lived a story of connections, rather than a story of a regretful person who was too afraid to do so at all.
Reach the reporter at Megan.Wadding@asu.edu.
