Dear Lisa,
I am a freshman, and I am having a hard time meeting people that are my age that want to do more than just drink and party. I feel like since I moved away from home, I don't have very many people here at ASU that I know I can count on for support. Do you have any suggestions on how I can make good quality friends so that I don't feel so lonely?
Thanks,
Lonely
Dear Lonely,
The best thing about freshman year is the opportunity it affords you to redefine yourself. You have been pushed out of the high school microcosm and are now completely capable of a grand reinvention. Madonna does it every couple of years. So do most politicians. So why not give it a shot yourself?
You have a wide variety of personas to choose from: There are the sorority gals who wear T-shirts that state things like "Jealous?" or "Don't you wish you were me?" (Frankly, I never do.) But that crowd really isn't that far from the high school days.
There are the shaggy-haired hipsters. You know, they're, um, shaggy and wear scarves all year long.
There are also the Paris-Hilton-wannabe girls who have bought the Target versions of Louis Vuitton bags and sunglasses and carry their mini-dogs with them everywhere they go. They are blond and tan and fake all over.
There's a whole pool of characters to choose from.
But I have a feeling that your best bet would be to remain true to yourself.
As far as making friends goes, strike up a conversation with someone in class. Say something like, "Nice binder," or "I really like your school spirit." These are all great conversation starters.
Memorizing popular movie lines is also a good way to start conversations with complete strangers. In the middle of chemistry yell, "Chlorophyll! More like borophyll!" (Thank you, "Billy Madison.") Or upon meeting people for the first time assert, "I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal. I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany." ("Anchorman," we salute you.)
Voila! Insta-pal! You and your new buddies can spout out moronic movie quotes all afternoon.
Also, don't discount going to a party. Being the sober one is actually pretty entertaining. It provides you with endless photographic blackmail opportunities and ensures that you will never be "that girl." (Oh, you know who she is - the one who follows puking in the bushes with a Jell-O shot and then decides to publicly urinate while calling her girlfriends "bitches" or "sluts.")
ASU also offers a wide variety of clubs you can join: business clubs, design clubs, Greek-life clubs, religious clubs, African-American clubs, Asian clubs and hey, if you're Caucasian male, there's a club for you now, too.
In the end, remember to be patient. Making friends and re-establishing yourself takes time. You can't just make it happen overnight. Just interacting with classmates, roommates and co-workers are all simple ways to get to know people.
- Lisa
Lisa would love to be your friend -- that is, if you send her your questions at: lisa.przystup@asu.edu.
Don't worry, we'll always keep your name and contact information anonymous.
