Make no mistake: comedian Nick Swardson is a 7.5 on roller skates.
When not portraying Terry, the much-loved, resident roller-skating prostitute on Comedy Central's "Reno 911!," Swardson manages an increasingly successful stand-up comedy and film career.
Swardson works closely with Adam Sandler and his Happy Madison productions, creating such films as "Grandma's Boy" and the upcoming "I Now Pronounce you Chuck and Larry."
In the midst of scriptwriting and shooting movies, Swardson also manages to do stand-up, starting his latest comedy tour on Jan. 18 at the Tempe Improv.
Below are excerpts from one of the most fun, inappropriate interviews ever - even if most of it was too graphic to print.
SPM: Do you dedicate a lot of time to your movies, or do you generally have down time to think about what your next stand-up is going to be about?
Swardson: If I'm not working on a film, there's always constantly something to work on. I'm also a raging partier and alcoholic, so you have to really balance everything. I'm still mentally, like, 21.
SPM: Rough life. So I was curious as to why the tour was starting in Tempe.
Swardson: Tempe is a great comedy town. I don't know if you guys know that. [The Tempe Improv is a club] I definitely wanted to go to.
SPM: I watched the Gay Robot pilot. [Comedy Central passed on picking up the show, which is now featured on myspace.com/gayrobot.] How did you come up with that idea?
Swardson: I had the voice. When I was in the office, Adam [Sandler] would walk in and I would say, 'Hey Adam, sweet shirt.' I always thought that voice would be funny in a sketch, so I was trying to figure out what that voice was. Then I was like, 'It sounds like a gay robot.'
SPM: How has the reaction to Gay Robot been so far?
Swardson: It's funny because I had this gay waiter yell at me in a bar once. He's like, 'You're that guy from that thing, that sketch.' 'Yeah.' 'You asshole. You set the gay community back. You're making us look bad.' 'How? It's a robot!'
SPM: So tell me about your character Terry from "Reno 911!" A male prostitute that roller skates - how did that happen?
Swardson: The cops on the show are old friends of mine from New York. They called me up and told me the premise - it's all improvised - and said, 'If you have a character, we'd love for you to do whatever you want on the show.' I thought it'd be fun to be a prostitute, a gigolo.
SPM: What about the roller skates, though?
Swardson: I had gone to a party, some Hollywood premiere, and they were giving away roller skates. So I had this free pair of old roller skates in my car. Terry just took off from there.
SPM: Is it a lot of fun working with the show?
Swardson: Oh yeah, we're shooting the new season next month.
SPM: How do your parents feel about your gravitation toward gay roles?
Swardson: My mom kind of flipped out about it a little bit. No one else really cared. All of this gay stuff just hit at once. I could care less. My mom was like, 'Everyone's going to think you're gay.' But they're just roles. Does everybody think Tobey Maguire is Spiderman?
SPM: On a scale of one to 10, how well do you actually roller skate?
Swardson: I would say a seven because I can't go backwards. Yeah, well, I would say maybe a seven and a half. If you're a nine, you are a full-blown homosexual. For the record, I am a 7.5 on roller skates.
SPM: Have you ever had any jokes that people just didn't respond to very well?
Swardson: My favorite joke of all time, people either love it or they hate it: I have a cat. My cat is sick right now, so I took him to the vet. And I said, 'Oh my cat's really sick. He has diarrhea.' So the vet asks, 'Well, what have you been feeding him?' 'Diarrhea.' Some people get really bummed out, thinking it's a true story.
Reach the reporter:celeste.sepessy@asu.edu.
