Q: Dear Amy,
This is my first year at ASU, and it's been really stressful for me. I've noticed that the more stressed out I get, the more money I spend. I already have three credit cards, and I'm wracking up debt on all of them. I feel like everything is getting way out of my control. Please help.
A:My senior year of high school was the most overwhelming year of my life. I was dealing with many issues. It felt like everything concrete in my life was chipping away, and my ability to cope began to disintegrate.
Then I went shopping. I still remember how it felt to hand over my debit card and walk away with a complete entertainment system for my bedroom. My savings plummeted, but with each ring of the cash register, with each new DVD or designer lip gloss, I felt the tension dissipate.
Most people have their own unique ways of handling difficulties. Some clog their arteries with greasy food; others rely on drugs or alcohol. You and I like to shop. This can potentially be the most disastrous, because unlike overeating or drug abuse, the symptoms are more difficult to recognize. Many don't take it seriously because there are no physical ramifications for a "shopping overdose."
Fortunately, you have already recognized that this is a problem and are seeking help. I recommend you find someone in which to confide, be it a family member or close friend. It may be difficult, but disclose your shopping addiction to him or her. Ask this person to hold you accountable for what you purchase.
I also strongly encourage you to destroy your credit cards and rely only on a debit card. It is much less tempting to shop when you realize whatever you buy will be immediately withdrawn from your personal account. Recognize when you are most tempted and remove yourself from situations where you could possibly succumb to your desire to spend.
Don't be ashamed in asking for help. The more support you have, the better. Many people avoid admitting their addictions or struggles because they fear how people will respond. However, temporary embarrassment is always better than financial headaches.
If you have a question, e-mail Amy at amy.mcgowan@asu.edu. She will be at her desk and not out shopping. As always, SPM will keep your information confidential.
