Q: Dear Amy,
I have a wonderful friend. His family lives here too, so we see his parents a lot. I like his family, but there's one thing I hate: His parents always talk about how great their kids are and all their kids' accomplishments. It's boring to hear. Should I say something?
A: As someone who has babysat, tutored and worked in day care, I've met all kinds of families, many with "cheerleader" parents.
On one hand, these parents can be a blessing. They are likely to support their children's ambitions, are extremely encouraging, and always see the best in their kids. Unfortunately, they also tend to perceive their children as superior, interpret other gifted children as a threat, imagine talent in their children where none exists, and worst of all, bore people endlessly with tales of their children's magnificence.
I've found the best way to handle this type of parent is to listen, but to discreetly redirect the conversation. If Mr. and Mrs. Bragger have spent the past 20 minutes informing you of how well their child's piano lessons have been going, respond with a positive remark that guides the conversation toward something else. For example, you might say, "That's exciting. Which reminds me: Heard any new good music lately?"
If extreme desperation sets in and it looks like nothing else will deter the parents, you can try asking them a question about themselves. Even though they'll probably start bragging about themselves instead of their child, it will probably be better than listening to a tiring discussion regarding excellent finger dexterity and the kid's near supernatural ability in performing the C scale.
Avoid bringing the parents' bragging up directly or making blunt comments that will make them feel like they have to defend their children. Saying, "Look, your son's accomplishments are actually unremarkable compared to everyone else I know," will only cause the parent to believe you are jealous and rude.
Lastly, keep in mind that your friend has little control over what his parents say. Be certain not to release your pent-up frustration on him. Understand that everyone's parents are likely going to have some sort of habit that annoys you, but your friend is worth the extra effort.
