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Opinions: Flat Mike the Vampire needs your help


The other day, I received a letter from my pen pal back in Wisconsin. It reads as follows:

Dear Jayme,

My name is Flat Michael. I am going to Arizona. My name is Michael but you can call me Mike. I like it here but I've got to move. I was in the army and I was a marine and a vampire. But I don't bite. I am a good guy like everyone else I guess. Please show me sites in Arizona. Don't forget to send me back to Wisconsin.

From:

Flat Michael

This letter is from a third-grader who suffers from shaken baby syndrome, or SBS. Michael died not once, but twice on the way to the hospital. He endured this abuse at the hands of an irresponsible babysitter when he was six months old. He has several injuries from his ordeal including blindness in one eye and some minor attention problems.

He is lucky, I guess, because otherwise he is a very intelligent boy. About one-third of all children who are unfortunate enough to be treated in this fashion die from injuries directly related to SBS, another third suffer from severe disabilities including neural disabilities, visual impairment, motor impairment and cognitive impairment.

I have to wonder about Michael's awareness of his own situation, I find his reference to being a "vampire," as well as "being a good guy, like everyone else" a bit troubling and in fact, I cried when I received his letter.

This kind of abuse I cannot understand no matter how hard I try. I have a son, and there was more than one time I thought about smothering the little guy when he was an infant (no, not really!), but the bottom line is that I didn't. I will never understand how people could conceivably abuse children, or animals for that matter, but that's a different column entirely.  

I could also use this opportunity to piss a bunch of conservatives off by spouting the virtues of liberal social programs, but in light of the reality of this young man's life, it all seems a bit trite.  

Instead, I am petitioning everyone on campus for his or her help. With your assistance, I will not let Mike down. He wants to see "sites in Arizona," and there's no reason why he shouldn't see them all. I have a damn fine likeness of a vampire colored in crayon that is begging, not only to suck blood, but also to have his photograph taken in cool and unusual places, PG-rated, of course. Perhaps even something that could inspire the sender of this letter to go on and pursue an education beyond high school.

So, if you work in a lab, a cafeteria, a library or any other conceivable place lets get Michael out there to be photographed. Perhaps if you're a pilot, a cockpit shot would be great, or even if you're a professor, I think Flat Michael would be a great instructor on the overhead or at the front of the classroom for a few moments.

All that matters is that we show Flat Michael's creator that there is beauty in this world. And who knows, perhaps someday he will get to attend ASU.

If you wish to help Michael and Jamey out, please contact: jamey.sackett@asu.edu.


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