Originally, this week’s column was intended to be a simple collection of the most unique and absurd transcriptions that I found on the stalls of ASU bathrooms.
However, somewhere along the way, during the process of taking pictures in public restrooms for most of Saturday afternoon (insert raunchy “I haven’t been in the bathroom that long” joke here), the concept began to take on a deeper meaning.
The more restrooms I visited, the more “data” that I collected, it became evident that there were recurring themes among the poetry, prose or whatever literary term would properly define: “Here I sit, broken hearted, came to sh—, but only farted.” I found creative, impulsive drawings. There were some written in French, some penned in Latin.
Some were simply for shock value. Others tried to express a message while a few were just downright awesome, such as the sketch of Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort or the cigarette-smoking Owl in the first floor men’s room of the G. Homer Durham Language and Literature building.
However, the biggest differences I noticed in thematic elements were between the men’s and women’s rooms. (You’d be surprised how few people are on campus on Saturdays, and I brought a female accomplice along to do preliminary reconnaissance before entering any women’s rooms.)
Most everything that was written or drawn by guys was gross, sexually suggestive or combative in nature. In one restroom, I even found something with paint chipped away in such a fashion that it resembled an Egyptian hieroglyph or some crude image of a warrior.
Any political ranting was met with opposing viewpoints, derogatory phrases being the most popular.
The stalls in the women’s rooms were treated as public diaries, resembling the pages of a “PostSecret” collection. (Although, the occasional name-calling did slip through the cracks.) I almost want to call them confessions, some of the more memorable ones being: “I’m in love with a guy who’s four and a half years younger than I am,” or “He hurts me because I let him. Not anymore,” and “Just be happy to be alive.” Although, almost morosely this one was right next to “I think about killing myself all the time.”
This is human expression at the most personal of levels, and while some choose to amuse the next person to warm the seat, others may be silently crying out for help.
As I bring this column to a close, the only explanation I can offer for this behavior is that divulging one’s deepest secrets on the walls of a toilet stall offers the privacy and intimacy of a journal, yet simultaneously allows you to confide with the thousands of people who will use the restroom after you, if only in the proverbial sense.
And really, at the end of the day, isn’t that what we’re all looking for? Someone to laugh at our jokes and listen to our sob stories?
See for yourself; all of these examples of bathroom literature were obtained in restrooms across the Tempe campus.
Share your most memorable restroom stall obscenities with Ben by emailing him at BKarris@asu.edu
