Arizona is notorious for seemingly absurd legislation. We legalize racial profiling, provide insufficient regulation of gun control and take aim at the 14th Amendment. Regarding the latter, former Sen. John Kyl claims that being born on American soil doesn’t make some of us “American” enough.
So it comes as no surprise that the mention of our state in any forum is usually followed by snide comments about the laws on our books.
However, what about the laws that really are crazy? What about the legislation that is so bizarre, most of it isn’t even being enforced anymore? Were they ever really on the books?
Most of these claims take root in alleged “laws” that are so old, there is little evidence to support any of them aside from crudely designed web sites and the fleeting convictions of message board users.
We’ve all heard rumors, but is it actually true that no more than six females may occupy the same place of residence?
I can see why most people would have no trouble believing it; the logic behind this “legislation” is reminiscent of the Wild West image to which many Arizonans still cling.
From what I gather, during the early planning of zoning ordinances in Maricopa County, lawmakers may have been trying to break up the over-abundance of brothels. But they failed to foresee societal changes, such as co-educational living or sorority houses. However, there isn’t sufficient documentation to really back up this claim.
Some other claims include: “Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony.” “Cards may not be played in the street with a Native American.” “It is illegal to ride a horse up the stairs of the county courthouse,” and my personal favorite, “it is illegal to wear a swimsuit and sing in a public place.” (Someone should tell this to the bros lounging poolside at The Vue. They’d probably believe it.)
Amidst my search through the arcane, I did stumble upon an actual law, one that is still being enforced. According to Title 13-3453-Criminal Code of the Arizona Revised Statutes, “It is unlawful for a person to manufacture, distribute or possess with intent to distribute an imitation controlled substance,” i.e., fake cocaine.
So the next time you want to pawn some oregano off as weed to your little brother, think again. Sheriff Joe Arpaio might come knocking on your door.
But really, who is out there peddling imitation controlled substances? How do you even approach a situation like that as an officer of the law or as a drug dealer for that matter? “You’re under arrest for the possession of baking soda,” or “Sorry man, I’m all out of ecstasy but I’ve got some garlic powder that looks a lot like PCP!”
Bringing us full circle, some of these laws actually exist and are still being enforced today. However, is the farcical absurdity inherent in these urban legends that far off from the reality of SB 1070? How about the recent proposals to allow concealed weapons on campus?
Share your thoughts on bizarre legislation with Ben by emailing him at Bkarris@asu.edu
