The Republicans have some big shoes to fill. The 2010 midterm elections showed the potential of Republican candidates to amuse, mystify and, at times, scare the rational populace. Even the 2008 presidential race saw the bridge to nowhere and the $200 haircut, among other things.
But, it's nearly halfway through 2011, and there hasn't been a lot of chatter on the Republican side about a serious list of candidates.
There are some decent, levelheaded, valid Republicans out there, but we never see them because we are drowning in the flood of insanity that springs forth from the party's ranks.
This time in 2008 the campaigns had already started. Who are we looking at to give Obama a run for his money in 2012?
There's Michelle Bachman, who linked swine flu to a Democrat in the White House, and John Bolton, the former U.N. ambassador, the mustachioed recipient of a letter signed by 43 former U.S. ambassadors who felt he was unfit for this job.
We also have Newt Gingrich, the man who loved his country so much he cheated on his wife, and The Donald, Donald Trump, business man, T.V. star, wearer of terrible hair and owner of a casino that went bankrupt — three times.
And the three names from last time, Sarah Palin of the TLC television network show “Sarah Palin's Alaska,” Mike Huckabee, who bizarrely slammed Natalie Portman for having a child “out of wedlock,” and a robot. I mean, Mitt Romney.
These are just the recognizable names. When is the Republican Party going to offer up a serious contender? No one has stepped up to run, and that makes no sense to me. The Republicans hate President Barack Obama more than any other Democratic president to my knowledge. Yet, here we are in April, almost May, and no one has made a serious move.
These candidates are laughable. Donald Trump is tied with Mike Huckabee for heaven’s sake. What has the Republican Party come to when you have a TV personality who is famous for firing people tied with a Southern Baptist minister who doesn't believe in evolution?
Maybe the GOP isn't taking the election seriously enough. Perhaps the idea is that anyone running against Obama will win, but they need to shape up.
More jobs, a better economy, these are things that Republicans ran on — they are the party of “fiscal responsibility” — but none of that has happened. Instead, our government almost shut down over a social agenda including the defunding of Planned Parenthood. To set the record straight, only 3 percent of all medical operations completed by Planned Parenthood annually are abortions.
I actually quite like Mitt Romney; that is, if he stops disowning his former governor-of-Massachusetts-self and owns up to his pro-choice, pro-health-care ways.
And he would make an excellent candidate. He is handsome, intelligent, has solid experience and is an exceptional businessman. But he will never make the Republican nomination because he is, by far, too normal and too rational.
Nothing completely wacky has come out about Romney — nothing embarrassing, nothing bizarre. He has never dabbled in witchcraft, he has never built a bridge to nowhere, but unfortunately, this is what it takes to be contender in the GOP.
Reach Oonagh at omcquarr@asu.edu
