“Leave them alone!”
It’s that clichéd line that the popular girl says in those cheesy ‘80s movies when her main squeeze picks on the school nerds. But in this case, we’re not talking about the dorky kids with the glasses and the pocket protectors. We’re asking Hollywood to please, please not destroy our childhoods and let our classic movies be.
And the bigwigs in L.A. are rapidly approaching the Danger Zone.
First, a disclaimer. We’re not against all remakes or sequels. The new Planet of the Apes was pretty cool, and so was “Tron: Legacy”. Superhero reboots are almost always welcomed, partly because that kind of stuff happens in comics all the time and also because every time the movie magic improves, it’s fun to see the man of steel in action.
But now, word has reached our ears (Perez Hilton, we guess you’re good for something,) that Top Gun is going to be re-released in 3D.
At the same time, George Lucas is now releasing a Blu-Ray version of the already-mangled Star Wars trilogy, with a holographic 3D version soon to follow. We can only assume Lucas will soon be bringing back Henry Jones Jr. in the near future. Disney is also releasing “The Lion King” in 3D.
These are movies we grew up with. They don’t need to be changed; we love them just the way they are.
It gets worse.
Remakes are currently in the works for Footloose, Clue, the Wizard of Oz, and even Cleopatra. These are all classic movies that are still beloved today. Who wasn’t afraid of the witch’s flying monkeys as a kid? And who really wants to see them redone?
We all saw Jaden Smith attempt to wax on, wax off. And Gene Wilder, you will always be our Willy Wonka. We didn’t ask for those remakes, and there’s no earthly way of knowing why they were made.
And then there are the “Huh?” candidates. “Point Break,” “Highlander,” “Robocop,” and “Total Recall” are all in the works. Wasn’t once enough? Besides, the soundtrack was the lone saving grace of “Highlander,” and Freddie Mercury is no longer with us. Are you really going to try to bring these back? They belong in the ‘80s.
There can be only one, and that was the original movie. Leave our classics alone.
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