Editorial Cartoon by Kelcie Grega/The State Press
Dear Jimmy Fallon,
Thank you for snubbing the students of ASU this weekend. We’d been looking forward to your arrival in Phoenix all month. Instead of being met by you, we were met with a late-night tweet (which really felt like an afterthought, if we’re being honest) and a whole lot of disappointment.
In case you’ve forgotten the details in what might be one of your more foggy memories, you decided that it would be OK to leak a photo of you sitting on the steps of Old Main, and then abandon your post before students could show up and actually meet you.
Because of you, hundreds of ASU students spent Saturday night running around Tempe Campus, Mill Avenue and University Drive looking for your sorry self. Sadly, you never showed up. Quite frankly, we’re a little confused. With all of the hype that was built up around you coming to Phoenix and the number of students you led to believe would have a chance to meet you, we would think that you would want students to promote you and provide you with good press. Maybe not, and that’s your mistake.
In the past, another comedian came to our institution. Unlike you, he actually met with students and let them participate in a skit that would be in his show. Thanks for being a class act, Daniel Tosh. Maybe you should talk to Tosh and get some pointers on how to not let down an entire university. We’re sure he’d be willing to lend you a page from his playbook.
On another note, let’s not forget how dangerous this Fallon-hunt could have been for students. People were running all across campus, crossing busy Super Bowl weekend streets without looking and generally being exposed to the dangers of the Valley. We’re not sure if you’re aware, but students remained outside until nearly 3 a.m. hoping and begging for you to make an appearance. Despite a YouTube video calling for your return, the #FindFallon and #FiestaForFallon hashtags and thousands of tweets directed toward you, you never came, and we were left hanging. What’s up with that, Jimmy?
Remember when you blew it with Nicole Kidman? We’re Nicole in this situation. As usual, you’re playing the part of yourself. You’ve let us down. Quite frankly, ASU is heartbroken, and it looks like we’ll have to break up with you. Luckily, we have a breakup playlist, a Jimmy alum and another set of Valley-wide Jimmys who never let us down.
The best thing you could do right now — to get back on our good side, that is — comes in three parts. Part one: Issue an apology (it’s up to you to figure out the most impressive way to do that). Part two: Come back to ASU and give a free performance (we deserve it). Part three: Grovel. What else is there to do when you let down the people who love you?
You’ve let us down, Jimmy, and we’d like to know why. We’re willing to give you another chance at our maroon and gold heart (emojis) but only if you’re willing to work for it.
We're sorry it had to come to this.
All of our love,
The State Press Editorial Board
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