They say college will be the best years of your life. Well, I'm two years in and if these are supposed to be my best, I need a do-over.
I had outgrown my small town of Nogales and I was ready to live the wild college life. Spoiler: I didn't.
On Aug 15, 2023, I was packing up my Harry Styles posters and driving to Tempe, my new home for the next four years. It was an exciting time; I was living at The Carmin with my childhood best friend and two strangers I would meet the day we moved in. What could possibly go wrong?
My first few weeks were an adjustment, meeting new people and trying to gain a core group of friends. Every show and movie I've ever watched gave me this idea that I would meet so many people, instantly click and become lifelong friends.
Unfortunately, that pursuit lasted a month before I ran out of social battery and decided that I was OK with just having my hometown friends.
Living so close to campus, my apartment naturally became the hangout spot. I'd have my hometown friends over every day and it felt like I was living my dream life. Sure, I had class and some homework, but it was never a problem.
Second semester came around and my freshman bubble popped. I realized I hadn't made the connections I thought I would. I also hadn't advanced academically in any way.
I had added a few people on social media, but it felt surface level — just school hangouts that ultimately went nowhere. I would see posts of people I knew living the typical college life: out partying, drinking and participating in hookup culture.
My socially anxious, introverted self could never do that, and I honestly didn't want to. But at the same time, I felt left out.
When my roommate did invite me out it was typically to Greek life parties. Although I appreciated the invite, I was still asking ChatGPT how to decline an invitation nicely. With no disrespect to Greek life people, it just wasn't my vibe.
It was hard, facing the reality that I wasn't living the lifestyle I expected. The realization lit a fire in me — I knew I needed to take more risks and make the most of these next three years.
Then suddenly, it was sophomore year ... To save myself from the hell that is driving on the AZ-202, I decided to move to downtown Phoenix.
I was so excited to have my own space. I finally didn't have to share a fridge or wait three days for the laundry machine to be free. But it quickly turned into more isolation than I had anticipated. I felt further from the idealistic college experience than I ever had.
On top of that, my best friend was going off to Italy for a semester and the group of friends I had from my hometown fell apart.
So, I decided to fill my time with productivity. I got a job, took on being president of a club and focused on schoolwork. Was this a healthy decision? Probably not. Do I sometimes regret it and miss rotting all day? Definitely.
But I'm supposed to be an "adult."
This year has taught me the true meaning of time management. College is a balancing act. Technically, I could rot all day after class, but I'd either get fired or fail my classes, and I'm not ready for that level of rock bottom yet.
Holding myself accountable is the biggest lesson I've learned in these two years. It made me understand that I need to be intentional with my time, academically and socially.
As I learned to value my time, I had an epiphany that it was more important to build one strong friendship versus having 30 "friends" who don’t know me. Quality over quantity, they say.
Now I am in the second semester of sophomore year, the halfway mark of the college experience. And I can say I've learned a lot about myself, and I've become a different person, just not in the way I thought I would be.
Living alone has brought its pros and cons. I find myself being more anxious since I'm constantly alone with my thoughts. And let me tell you, my thoughts never shut up, especially at night when I'm overthinking every conversation I had that day.
But independence also taught me to appreciate the people that matter to me and that I don't need to tolerate anyone's s----- behavior.
As I near the end of my sophomore year, I can honestly say college is not what I thought it would be. It isn't the carefree, Instagram-worthy journey I pictured, and that is OK.
I may not have a ton of friends or go out every single weekend, but I have enough to keep me sane.
College is not about fulfilling expectations; rather, it's about creating the person you want to be and what feels authentic to you.
Edited by Senna James, Sophia Ramirez and Natalia Jarrett.
Reach the reporter at nrodri74@asu.edu.
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Natalia is a sophomore studying journalism and mass communication with a minor in creative writing. This is her second semester at The State Press.
