UA embarrasses Tucson with ridiculous petition to ban Sparky

You’ve really out done yourself this time Tucson. Starting a petition to ban our beloved Sparky because you think he is designed in the image of Satan. Nice try, but it’s going to take a lot more than that to get us to bow down to Wilbur and Wilma.

Before you think the Arizona Board of Regents will even consider this petition, let’s do a bit of fact-checking.

Sparky is a Sun Devil. Satan comes from Hell, which I believe is somewhere underground, not in space. Second, if a cartoon-like, friendly mascot "scares kids and causes nightmares," then I guess that’s why so many of them line up to get their picture taken with him.

And before you start accusing me of an unwarranted attack on UA, I have my proof. This petition first appeared on the Tucson News Now Facebook page and almost everyone who has signed it includes the petty catchphrase “Bear Down.”

On same day UA dropped the haka dance http://shout.lt/bd681 An online petition was started to get Arizona State to drop...

Posted by Tucson News Now on Friday, October 2, 2015

The description on the petition says, “This is an inappropriate and offensive nickname to all good, non-devil worshippers in the world.” Well, let’s see what the First Amendment has to say about that.

Satanism is a legitimate religion and is protected under the First Amendment and having a devil as a mascot is not necessarily a hate crime. Yes, Sparky may offend some people, but I would like to refer you to Dan Snyder, the owner of the football team most closely associated with Washington, D.C., and let him tell you how many craps he gives about offensive mascots. Maybe you've heard of a few other "satanic" mascots, perhaps the Duke Blue Devils or the New Jersey Devils.

To be completely honest, we here at ASU have nothing to worry about, because this is obviously just an insensitive prank pulled by drunk frat boys down in Tucson retaliating for the banning of the "Haka" from their football games.

Look guys, it was good joke, but let’s not get too riled up over this. I highly doubt that ABOR will actually consider this petition even if the entire population of Tucson signs it. A mascot change is a very hard thing to follow through on, especially with the deep history and tradition Sparky carries with him.

Also, if you feel so compelled to sign this petition (you traitor) because you are offended by the apparent satanic influence Michael Crow and ASU are influencing upon us, I will post the link here.

Bottom line, suck it up Tucson. Just because you’re jealous of our awesomely badass mascot doesn’t mean you have to try and bring him down with an impossible legal battle. I’m sorry if Wilbur and Wilma aren’t cutting it, but maybe instead of trying to change our mascot, just change yours.


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Editor’s note: The opinions presented in this column are the author’s and do not imply any endorsement from The State Press or its editors.

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