Have you ever been watching a boxing match on television and thought to yourself, "I could take that guy?" Neither have I.
But apparently, there is this whole group of guys and gals waiting to prove they can beat up somebody else just like them, and now they can do it legally.
The Toughman contest will be in town this Friday and Saturday. It's an event where ordinary guys throw on a pair of boxing gloves in hopes of winning the title of Toughest Man in the Valley and a thousand dollars they can put toward the hospital bill.
The organization was founded by Art Dore (who still serves as ring announcer), because he was sick of hearing guys in recliners brag about how they could make the fighters on TV squeal. Although there are 12 known methods to make men squeal, fighting is the only one that can be televised. So in 1979, Dore held the first Toughman contest in Bay City, Michigan, and it has exploded ever since.
"Toughman is grass roots," Dore explained, "because the participants are men from all walks of life, and it's that Rocky-like twist that makes Toughman unique and really appealing."
The fighting is pretty sloppy, but that's what makes it great. God has endowed all humans with the ability to punch, but in his infinite humor, also made them with a deficiency in blocking a punch. This quirk of human ability is given center stage at Toughman contests.
Stephen Coppler, director of promotions, explained "anybody can throw a punch, but it's the ability to take a punch that will make or break a guy."
The fights consist of three 60-second rounds, the equivalent of one standard boxing round. Usually the first round is action-packed, but as the fight continues the fighters seem to make a telepathic "I won't hit you if you don't hit me" agreement.
The fighters are broken into two different weight classes, and further broken down into two different gender classes. That's right, Toughwomen are coming to town! Coppler said the women are "not as skilled, but they take punches much more personally."
One example was a woman whose husband left her for her cousin. When these two stepped in the ring, it was all business. When the fight ended and it was time to shake hands, it was still all business. It's like being at the Jerry Springer show, except that Steve guy isn't there to break it up.
The winner of each division gets a chance to fight at the national tournament for a possible purse of $50,000. Notable Toughmen of the past include Mr. T, Tommy Morrison and the 350-pound Butterbean. That may sound like an odd nickname, but it isn't, that's his legal name. Butterbean has been the spokesman for the contest, being featured in Nintendo and Genesis versions of Toughman.
The phenomenon also sparked a 1984 movie with Dennis Quaid called Tough Enough. If you saw the movie, you are urged to contact Twentieth Century Fox. Since the movie grossed about $0, you are clearly partaking in bootleg activity. Stop that.
If you want to participate in the Toughman contest, call 1-888- toughman. The deadline to enter is noon today, but if you miss it there will always be more chances. Coppler said that they are trying to bring a "UofA vs. ASU" contest to town next year, so keep your eyes open and your fists pounding.
On Friday night, all competitors get to fight once, and the winners make it into Saturday's single elimination competition. You can expect to see about 20 fights each night. While Saturday should have some better fights, it's always fun to watch the guys who really have no business being in a ring on Friday, so take your pick.
The fighting starts at 8 p.m. at the Celebrity Theatre, and tickets are $15. It's good old-fashioned face pounding madness. Toe to toe, eyeball to eyeball. Let the beatings begin.
