If you're interested in spending a year in another country, allow me to offer you some advice: Hate your family, hate your friends and don't fall in love.
Hating everyone in your life will make it easy for you to live in another country because you will never have thoughts like, "I really wish I were slumped in the corner of La Grimace having a bottle with Sara right now," "I could really go on a Changing Hands run with Alissa today," or "Where's Steve and some alligator cheesecake when I need them?"
Then again, you probably never have these thoughts, because they're mine and you can't have them! But I do say these things for a reason (and there will be reason somewhere in this column, I promise). Leaving the United States for a significant amount of time will inevitably mean leaving people who love and care about you. What to do?
Well, frankly, how on earth do I know? I'm not Dear Abby for goodness sake, and my Magic 8 Ball keeps telling me to "Ask again later."
I do know that missing friends, family and pints on the porch of Casey Moore's should not stop you from studying abroad. After all, wherever you go may not have sunshine or even warmth (damn Edinburgh weather!), but it will have culture and, failing that, numerous drinking establishments... just kidding.
The real trick to studying abroad is to know how to stay in touch with the people you care about without missing them so much that you can't function. Talking to stateside friends and family every night is probably not a good idea. Telling your foreign friends how much crappier they are than your friends back home is also not advisable. Most importantly, don't live so vicariously through your American memories that you miss out on your experiences in your new home.
So how do you venture into the wild-and-woolly wilderness of another country without writing off your connections to home? I would suggest that the successful way to maintain relationships back home without neglecting your time abroad is e-mail, and lots of it.
Throw in the occasional phone call and some snail mail. Beg your friends to come out to visit you, and then thank them profusely if they do--preferably by abusing some sort of public forum. (Thank you Emi, Sara, Steve, Alissa, and Chris!)
Alternatively, you can spend all your time abroad pouting, come back, realize you've missed out on a potentially wonderful experience, and resume pouting on American soil. That's just a waste of time and money that should be avoided. Still, it's certainly easier said than done, especially when you're leaving people you really care about behind.
Just remember that you won't be alone in your situation. There will be plenty of other Americans (and perhaps even some ASU students) who will be there in similar situations. Talk to each other. Hold support groups where you sing Lee Greenwood and affirm your right to occasionally whine about the fact that people don't appreciate ice cubes outside the United States.
Remember that you have fabulous friends in your new home, and that they say crazy things like "minging" and "wee." Use the holidays to reconnect with friends and share stories, food and photos from your trip.
Just don't forget why you went abroad in the first place.
Kathleen Heil is studying in Edinburgh for the year. Reach her at kathleen.heil@asu.edu.
